The Psychology of a culture is revealed and perpetuated in how they relate to and treat their children and in how they relate to and treat the most vulnerable people within their society. Heal that and we can heal everything.
Reading through the Report is a sobering experience, an informative and devastating outline of the scale and force of the crimes of sexual, bodily and psychic nature committed upon us as children, and the symptoms of same which we Survivors have been forced to endure, through no fault or flaw in ourselves, all our lives.
The fault and flaws lay with the perpetrators; and with the Church, the Congregations and the State and its organs where they failed to protect our human rights, our dignity and safety.
I am sure the Irish people would wish to correct that unhappy condition.
It struck me today as I was reading the Report, that had such a process been carried out in 2000, when it was clear that there was at the very least a risk of a substantive case to answer within the Irish Schools system, given the numbers of cases already extant at the time, and the knowledge, since the suppressed Kerrigan Report of 1931, of the prevalence of child sexual abuse and of physical and psychological abuse of children in Ireland, how different would the outcomes have been for all the Survivors over the past 24 years - many have not survived, and they will never see justice or accountability for their suffering. Their loss is our Nations loss too.
And they lost so much more than we. Life is precious, a gift not to be squandered by neglect to meet the needs of the people and their children.
I understand that many elements of the current Scoping Inquiry were not in place at the time, and that my thoughts are of possibilities rather than realities, and that time cannot be rolled back.
The work and effort of Survivors to seek justice over the past 30 years has made the present situation possible.
We move forwards in this generation, cautiously. Step by step.
The recent settlement outside the High Court on the issue of redress between Louise O’Keefe et al and The State, The Department of Education, reflects another delay in taking action, an avoidable delay. The issue is not about money, it is about responsibility, it is about duty of care.
That is, of course, a matter of previous Governments, albeit each Government represents the State as well as the electorate.
The State is practically immortal, the Government of the day temporary.
I respectfully urge The Taoiseach, The Minister of Education, The Minister of Justice, and the assemblies of the Dáil and Seanad to now to seize the day, to act upon that ruling, and in accepting the State’s responsibility, on behalf of the Irish People, and our children, that they move the process onwards, as soon as possible, as a way to set the most apt conditions for the forthcoming Commission of Investigation, affording Survivors the help they so desperately need and deserve, ensuring that it is not contingent upon the outcome of that Commission of Investigation.
Kindest Regards
Corneilius Crowley
London
I think of the Johnny Cash cover, originally written and performed by Tom Petty, as a song to be sung by all Survivors and all our advocates, none of us alone, ever again. Our cause is just.
Kindest regards
Corneilius
Thank you for reading this blog.
"Do what you love, it is your gift to universe."
This blog, like all my other content creation work is not monetised via advertising. If you like what I present, consider sharing my content. If you can afford the price of a cup of coffee or a pint of beer/ale/cider for a few months, please donate via my Patreon account.
Critique of a States violence is not a critique of religion, or ethnicity of its constituents, and should never be conflated with either. It is critique of State Violence.
Critique of violence is not a critique of religion, or ethnicity. It is critique of Violence.
We live within a hierarchy culture of wealth and power.
The Hierarchy culture is a dominator culture that deploys layers of violence protect Wealth and Power.
This is the most honest appraisal of our culture, and it's abhorrent militarism.
Here is a song I wrote, Expectations of Every Child, about the needs of all our children, needs which all too often go unmet within Dominator Cultures.
1. "The psychology of a given culture is both revealed and perpetuated in how they relate to and treat the children. Change that and we can change everything."
The choice is ours, collectively, to make.
Jeremy Corbyn speaks quite sensibly, to the need for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, and beyond.
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In England, Suella Braverman is demoted, for her public description of homelessness as a 'lifestyle choice' and her public labelling of Ceasefire Marches as 'Hate Marches'. She was removed only because she was embarrassing the Westminster Government, who mostly share her views. She was fired to protect that Government, not to indicate any alteration in Government policy.
2. "The pathology of a given culture is both revealed and perpetuated in how they relate to and treat the children and the most vulnerable among them. Heal that and we can heal everything."
Angela Rayner, a mother herself, refuses to call, publicly, for a ceasefire, which she must know is essential to protect the lives of so many children, mothers and fathers and grand parents living in Gaza. She stands with Starmer. This does not hold her in the best light. She may well change her mind soon...
The Irish Government, a coalition of old civil war party oligarchs, Fianna Fail and Fianna Gael, with the Green Party responded to 'opposition' parties and independents call for a ceasefire in Gaza, which the Dail, the Irish Legislative Assembly, approved.
In recent days they have rejected a motion in the Dail to expel the Israeli Ambassador, who openly and publicly, whilst remaining in Ireland, supports and praises the commission of horrific War Crimes.
The Irish Government stance is to that to expel the Israeli Ambassador is to put Irish Citizens in Israel, Gaza and the West Bank at risk and to close the door to potential influence as a Government that has helped to bring about an end to militarised violence through negotiations.
There is some merit to their argument. Thatchers Government did have back channel discussions on ending the violence, even as they publicly claimed they did not negotiate with terrorists. Those back channels were part of the process of bringing peace, though the bulk of the work was done by women's movements in Northern Ireland.
However we now understand that there was collusion between British Security Forces and Unionist Paramilitaries which led to so much avoidable harm, which exacerbated the violence rather than quell it and that the British Government were well aware of this. Public face and private face.
That stance - of keeping the diplomatic doors open - was also the Irish Governments stance with regards the invasions of Afghanistan, Iraq, the War against Libya, the civil war in Donbas, and The Russian invasion of Ukraine. Unfortunately the Irish Government also supported the movement of weapons and combat troops into those war zones, effectively contributing to the prolonging of each war. Thus the merit of the argument against expelling the Israeli ambassador fails on account that it does not reduce the avoidable harm to the people who are being harmed. There is also the potential of using the UN as the go between - where rather than a case by case basis, the matter is dealt with on a collective front.
The culture of Power, the political and social Hierarchy of Wealth, has always and is still layered with violences, to maintain its dominance. We see this undermining the potential of the UN when Security Council Members veto decisions and proposals made by the collective.
We, as the Decent People, must take up the political task of ending all of those violences from within our own polities. It is a political task, and it requires that we organise accordingly, en masse, to elect legislators who will pass laws to end all those violence, develop policies to effect that and pursue them to their final goal.
Intersectionality is the term used to describe how all these violences are part of a whole, and cannot be set as isolated and separate cases, if we are, as we must, to confront and end those layers of violence.
In Ireland, another aspect of that dominator culture was exposed over the past 30 years, through 6 public inquiries into the mistreatment of children and vulnerable adults within residential care systems. The Churches made a ton of money during that period, the state absolved itself of its constitutional responsibilities, and both State and Church covered up the crimes, repeatedly, which led directly to more and more horrific abuse. Seven decades of horrific abuse.
There is a collective change of consciousness and awareness occurring in Irish Society.
The historical crimes of Church and State are being looked at, but even still Church and State are evasive, and are delaying a full and honest accountability and reparations process that would finally resolve the matter.
The Dominator culture does not come from the womb. The Dominator culture does not respect the womb.
"All is born of Woman, no harm shall come to the children"
In short, Hierarchies of violence are evidence of dysfunction in human relationships, they are not innate nor are they part of the normal range of healthy behaviours which biological health mandates.
The work to confront this is a collective work, even as part of it starts with personal change in almost every case. When the healed work together, then change is more likely.
Follow the links on this page to learn more about this. It really does matter in terms of developing grounded political and social movements to confront the many abuses of Power inherent to the prevailing political and economic systems, which is the first step towards building an egalitarian culture, our true natural healthy birthright.
Here's my performance of the song, Universal Soldier, written by Donovan, during the Vietnam War, taken from one of my recent live stream shows on Facebook.
Kindest regards
Corneilius
Thank you for reading this blog.
I sincerely hope it has added something of value to your reflections.
"Do what you love, it is your gift to universe."
This blog, like all my other content creation work is not monetised via advertising. If you like what I present, consider sharing my content. If you can afford the price of a cup of coffee or a pint of beer/ale/cider for a few months, please donate via my Patreon account.
"The psychology of a culture is both revealed and sustained in how they relate to and treat the most vulnerable among them. Change that and we can change everything."
I grew up in 5 Boarding Schools, from age 6 to 17, during the 1960s and 1970s. I am a Survivor.
Close to a century of suppression (of the true scale of the problem of sexual abuse of children) maintained by both Church and State has caused unspeakable harm.
The Government set out a scoping inquiry to record the testimony of a small sample of Survivors, be presented to Government today, to help define the terms of reference and the powers of that Public Inquiry. The term used was ‘a survivor led process’.
The team collating that evidence have requested more time to analyse that evidence and draft a report that accurately reflects the meaning and importance of that evidence. They have been granted an extension to June 2024.
Today, as I write, we Survivors (and you must know there are living Survivors struggling with life within your own constituency) have no materialised support for our most immediate need let alone our long term end of life needs, as vulnerable as we are, as we approach the process of a Public Inquiry.
We humbly request that the State meets those needs now, before it’s too late.
Please lend your ear to our voices when we ask for our unmet needs to be met.
Support all survivors, in a meaningful material and determined fashion.
We deserve no less.
Kindest regards
Corneilius
Thank you for reading this blog.
"Do what you love, it is your gift to universe."
This blog, like all my other content creation work is not monetised via advertising. If you like what I present, consider sharing my content. If you can afford the price of a cup of coffee or a pint of beer/ale/cider for a few months, please donate via my Patreon account.
David and Mark Ryan (Mark unexpectedly passed away in September 21st 2023, RIP)
This is an open letter to Irish politicians, Irish media and others regarding the matter of a Public Inquiry into the history of Sexual Abuse of Children in Irish Schools since the inception of the state, as a democratic republic. It is worth noting to readers that the first Government level report into the sexual abuse of children in Irish Schools was The Carrigan Report of 1931. Here is a 2004 article looking at this matter and the fact that this report was suppressed, for political reasons, for religious reasons and for social and economic reasons.
As regards the Government of Ireland current stance : Mark Vincent Healy is concerned that it is an ethically bankrupt process in that even as it asks Survivors to present their experience and evidence, it has not made adequate provision for the care and welfare Survivors need. The reality is the state financial, psychological and material support for previous Survivors groups, following the 6 Inquiries already done, is less than complete. It really should not be so.
I share his concern.
My letter is sent out to an email list Mark Vincent has generated as part of Survivors voicing our concerns. Mark Vincent has been active for at least 15 years in advocacy for his own case, and our cause.
I have such a deep respect for every Survivor who has ever spoken out, every Survivor that has made such efforts to have their stories told, heard and understood, in order to ensure Justice prevails.
The immensity of the task of any individual, or small group of individuals to confront the two most powerful institutions in Ireland is a Sisyphean demand. We deserve the full active support of the entire population, backing us up, all the time, until full justice is restored, and peace can abide in the land.
I would not be in the position I am today, I would not have had the access to help, the level of understanding I have of myself without the work of previous survivors and advocates, thousands of people who have done a huge amount of work on the issue of child abuse, trauma, recovery over many decades.
I truly stand on the shoulders of giants. I am so fortunate, and am well aware that so many were not so lucky as I, and that many still face insurmountable difficulties in their own personhood and their lives as a direct result of child abuse.
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Good Morning,
1. I am a Survivor, whose life has been adversely impacted by sexual assault, psychological and emotional abuse, physical abuse and neglect of my needs during 12 years spent in 5 Irish Boarding Schools, between 1965 and 1977. Thus I can speak to the culture within the entire system in that period. it was far from healthy and safe for children. All the adults knew this.
I have written you a number of times on this matter.
I attended the funeral of Mark Ryan, may he rest in peace, in London and the memorial held for him in Dublin.
I read the poem, 'We will Remember' on both occasions.
His sudden passing came as a deep shock, as he, I and others were looking forwards to continuing the task of informing a Public Inquiry, and completing the task of advocating for Justice for all survivors of depraved and extended abuse within the Boarding Schools and Day Schools of Ireland - we were innocents, whose needs as children went unmet, and today we are adults whose needs remain unmet.
The toll chronic childhood trauma takes imposes a burden that is now well understood, though not well met.
2. The Ministers eulogy was appropriately toned, and reflected the genuine compassion and kindness that Mark Ryan brought to this process.
3. Colm O' Gorman's eulogy expressed in the clearest terms the social and cultural and societal realities. Our plight and condition was known, and we were abandoned to a toxic legacy, not a matter of fate, so much as a matter of cover-ups. We were cast aside. The Church and State turned a blind eye, and lied. Irish society lied to itself.
"The psychology of any given family, community or culture is both revealed and perpetuated in how they relate to and treat the most vulnerable among them. Change that and you can change everything."
I suggest that we integrate it into our thinking and action on this matter.
3. We survivors are not 'Victims', we were victimised.
That is a statement of clarity.
Every time I read the word 'victim' as a descriptive of myself I recoil in anger and revulsion. I did nothing wrong and any passivity on my part was simply a matter of the vast power disparity between me and the adults who abused me. I was not predestined to be or had any predisposition to adopt the category of victim. I was victimised.
4. I see a change in Irish Society, wrought over the past three to four decades by Survivors from various residential care settings operated by the Church with oversight and funding from the State, advocated for Justice often opposed by Church and State, and others. Systems that were commercial operations, generating wealth for the Church and it's congregations.
I do not see that change coming from within the Church. The defensive, adversarial stance of the congregations involved remains toxic.
I do not see that change coming from the State - I do not see either entity putting up their hands, admitting the fullness of the crimes committed, offering to release all documentation required to write an honest history as part of a sturdy, robust process of Justice, Accountability, Reparation let alone 'healing'.
5. I read history from the perspective of examining the lived experience of the most vulnerable with regard to how their lives are affected and indeed afflicted by the decisions of the most powerful. You might consider what that means, in terms of honesty, empathy, accuracy.
6. Recent offers of a Restorative Justice appear to be manipulative rather than genuine efforts, even as Survivors and their friends best intentions and most fervent hopes were embedded in the process. That manipulative attitude has generated divisions within Survivor groups, divisions that on reflection meet the criteria of 'divide and rule'. There is no external review of this process that can assess it fairly.
7. The work of the Scoping Inquiry team, and in particular the Survivor Engagement process which gathered testimony from hundreds of Survivors, proceeds.
While it proceeds, Survivors needs remain unmet.
Mark Vincent Healy has been explicit on this. He speaks from long experience, supporting and advocating for vulnerable survivors for over a decade.
The offer of three counselling sessions, rather than open ended support of that kind for as long as each survivor requires, is clearly inadequate.
And there is the question of economic support for Survivors.
8. The Scoping Inquiry team employed to take submissions from Survivors understand that they are taking a small sample, a point repeatedly made by Mark Vincent Healy.
9. Nonetheless, given the depth of the information and insight the interview team have been given by Survivors, they have asked for more time to assess that material - to ensure an exacting and detailed analysis be carried out, by experts in the field, to present a report to Government to accurately inform the decision making that will determine the terms of reference and task of a future Public Inquiry.
10. Most Survivors I am in touch with understand that it must be a Judicial Level Inquiry that has real power to hold the Schools and their operators to account, has the power to request documents, call witnesses before it, under perjury notice. The whole truth, nothing but the truth.
11. Mark Ryan did not get the full support he deserved. None of us have. David Ryan, his brother is not getting the full support he deserves. None of the Survivors who attended his funeral and his memorial are getting the support they need and deserve. Thousands of others today and many tens of thousands of children who were routinely abused in the most depraved manner over the last 70 years never got the support and care they deserved.
That must be corrected. We know that the ACE study and others have provided ample scientific and medical evidence that repeated trauma, multiple adverse childhood experiences, is a leading cause of early death in Survivors.
12. As one Survivor put it, speaking from within a counselling group: "We should not be friends. Our bond as Survivors is there only because we were victimised, and that should never have happened."
Eulogies for the lost can be moving and comforting, yet they are inadequate to the current needs of living Survivors - we need and indeed we deserve so much more than words.
13. We need and demand concrete action to support us, we need and demand concrete action to record the true history of what was done to us, and how the adverse impacts of that flowed through our bodies, our hearts and minds, and how it percolated through Irish Society - it did not 'happen', it was done - to so many children, for so long.
"The psychology of any given family, community or culture is both revealed and perpetuated in how they relate to and treat the most vulnerable among them. Change that and you can change everything."
Make the changes we need, and do it with robust commitment. We will continue to advocate for our case, even as we face the very real possibility of early deaths that might preclude our being there when Justice is delivered in full.
Kindest Regards
Corneilius Crowley, London.
Kindest regards
Corneilius
Thank you for reading this blog.
"Do what you love, it is your gift to universe."
This blog, like all my other content creation work is not monetised via advertising. If you like what I present, consider sharing my content. If you can afford the price of a cup of coffee or a pint of beer/ale/cider for a few months, please donate via my Patreon account.
These are some predawn reflections written in Dublin, the morning after Mark Ryans Memorial service. I also attended Mark's funeral and cremation in London, last week, as I live in London at present.
David (left), Mark (right) during their appearance and testimony on The Late Late Show November 2022.
Why should it be the Survivors task to be ‘courageous’, ‘brave’, ‘generous’?
I am among the number of still living Survivors of Irish Catholic and Protestant and Secular Boarding Schools. One of many. One of many thousands still living today. The dead number in tens of thousands, probably hundreds of thousands, if we start the count at the inception of the Irish State, when the De Valera Government that inherited a colonial Victorian ‘Christian’ social care, education and health care system handed it over to the Catholic Church, providing them with immense social power and solid flow of income, which they ably exploited. God needs our money, it would seem. And He needs laws as well.
The very first official report into abuse of children within those care systems was The Carrigan Report of 1931. The suppression of that report aligned with the view that Catholic morality should be the basis of the legal approach to morality. The Church was beyond reproach. This was official state policy.
And only now is the matter of the abuse of vulnerable children in Boarding Schools and Day Schools since the 1930s on the legal, political and social agenda in the public domain.
How did this come about?
In 2020/21, a group of past pupils of one fee paying boarding school, Blackrock College, Dublin, started an online group discussing how to get their College to issue a public apology to Survivors, as there had been over the last two decades or so a number of cases that had been through the courts, where perpetrators were held to account, but without a formal public apology being issued from the College itself.
A number of Survivors had been trying to get a decent response from The Spiritans for more than a decade, to no avail, in spite of strenuous effort, notably by Mark Vincent Healy, a powerhouse in this field, and others. It is a Sisyphean task, and needs many bodies to the wheel.
This most recent approach, where survivors and past pupils started conversing about this for the first time as an online group, opened a path for more Survivors to reveal their sad histories, and the realisation quickly grew that the numbers of children afflicted was way beyond anyones comprehension - an avalanche of allegations emerged, just from one short period, less than a decade, with 20% of children from one year saying how they had been afflicted, which led to Survivors making formal complaints to Irish Police forces.
It was at this point when it looked like the College was still stonewalling that David and Mark Ryan, having bumped into a radio documentary maker, almost by accident, determined that they were going to finally break the story to the Nation of Ireland which they did via the RTE Broadcast Radio documentary 'Blackrock Boys' and on TV, in November 2022 with an appearance on The Late Late Show, Irelands premier Saturday night chat show, a cultural institution much loved and respected across Ireland, and indeed across the Earth wherever Irish diaspora find themselves. That documentary has just this weekend won a major award in Europe for its makers.
Then there was 6 days of Joe Duffy, a radio talk show host, who ran 6 consecutive two hour shows on the matter, because there were that many Survivors coming forward with well corroborated allegations, which were quite horrific - the numbers of children and the brutality of their persecutors was finally being recognised, as was the cover ups. The College had always sought to protect its image, status and wealth above the needs of the children who were harmed in their care. They moved predators to other areas, where they continued to predate, creating a trail of tears that ran across continents. A pattern repeated almost everywhere Catholic clergy ran care systems of any kind,
The nation was appalled, and the Government was impelled by this publicity to acquiesce to forming a Public Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse within Irish Boarding and Day Schools, secular and religious alike.
The Ryan brothers were central to all of this. Their initial testimony provided the impetus for others to step forward into the light.
The Government has since then been running a Survivor Scoping Inquiry to gather information and insight from the Survivors who had come forwards, around 200 or so now elderly men, to feed into the future public inquiry. Mark, David and many, many others have been interviewed in depth about their experiences and what they want to see in a Public Inquiry. We all felt there was a great work to be done, and we were all prepared to do that work, whatever it might take.
And then Mark passed away, unexpectedly on September 21st 2023, and his obituary gives an indication of the importance of what he and his brother David did. Historic is the accurate term to use.
David and Marks close family and friends were not expecting this - indeed Mark was preparing for the long slog that a Public Inquiry entails. We all were. We were bereft when we got the news of his death. Mark was a warm, big hearted, kind gentle man. His aim was not revenge, it was justice - the justice that grounded love demands - for all Survivors, living and deceased.
Speaking to one of Marks survivor friends, he told me that Mark said to him : "We should never have become friends!" and what he meant was it was the shared injustice, the harm and trauma of being predated upon within a setting that gave the predators carte blanche and a protective veil to continue abusing children that had 'thrown us together'.
At the funeral and memorial, much was said of Marks courage, to take on the most powerful institutions in the way he was envisaging it. We all knew it was going to be a struggle, a fight, a matter that might well wear us down, again and again.
Yesterday I asked myself “Why do we have to fight for justice?”
Why fight? Why us? Why me? This is not self pity, it is a really good question.
Why must we - the harmed - take up a struggle against Institutions of great wealth and power to see to it that our stories are told and understood, to see to it that those who were culpable are held to account, to see to it that they make appropriate reparations, to see to it that we receive the support we need as we arrive at elderhood, (is that a word?), to see to it that this country creates a social care system that nurtures the most vulnerable among us, to see to it that we build a society that nurtures all of us, from in utero to the grave?
Why must we fight? Why is this a struggle? Why are we so often on our own?
Why is it that Adult Survivors of childhood abuse, survivors of violent rape, survivors of daily psychological torture, survivors of physical beatings, survivors of deliberate neglect of such degree and quantity that it can be fairly called an atrocity, are expected to be courageous, generous, or brave and take up that task outlined above?
Why is it that we old men, all of us ordinary people who were just small innocent children whose real needs went unmet, because we were groomed, bullied, beaten, broken, shattered, splattered, torn, raped and shredded and so grossly mistreated in such unspeakable manner within institutional ‘care’ systems, and schools, in ways that scarred and mashed our souls and warped our core sense of self out of all recognition, twisting our hearts and breaking our minds, our guts wrenched in pain and terror, our sleep punctuated by night sweats and terrors, our days polluted by rage and despair, living in fear of the next day, trauma reverberations distorting our lives forever, are expected to be courageous, generous, brave and why are we the ones who have to fight for justice?
Why are we alone, in Society? Are we not a significant demographic already?
Where are you? Where were you then and where are you now?
What is it then when so many of us are indeed kind, gentle men and also broken, broken, broken and holding that within ourselves, that we have to take up this gargantuan task, often on our own?
Colm O'Gorman was in that position decades ago, in 1998. He knows.
Colm O' Gorman Eulogy at the Memorial for Mark Ryan
(apologies for sound quality, my bad)
What kind of culture expected us to keep calm, and carry on?
Why is it that we cannot rail and scream and cry and be heard, recognised, validated and be protected?
Why is it that the Church and State, the institutions that operated, funded and exploited those care systems are not expected to be courageous, brave, generous let alone honest?
What is it, that you expect the Church and State to be defensive.
’It’s only to be expected.’ ‘
What else do you expect?’
Restorative Justice? Before any real or meaningful justice has been achieved?
Really?
Why has every cohort of children abused within institutional settings who survived into adulthood had to struggle with both Church and State, and the wider community, to gain public recognition of what was done?
Industrial Schools, Orphanages, Mothers and Babies Homes, Magdalene Launderies, Mental Asylums, Boarding Schools, Day Schools.
What does that say about Irish society, Irish culture and Irish history?
What does this say about you and I?
What is that?
What is that all about?
Why is it that both Church and State are expected to be defensive, dishonest and not expected to be humble, generous, courageous and kind?
Why must we fight for justice?
Why?
What happened did not happen - it was done to us.
What happens to a child when he is tormented by a depraved, violent nasty adult?
What happens to a child when he is repeatedly tormented by a depraved, violent nasty adult and no one listens, hears or understands, and that child has to carry that terror and pain in silence, unprotected, alone, as he lives on, day by day, fearing the next day, every day.
What happens when the detail of that child's experience is so unspeakable that the child himself cannot describe it and does not want to remember any of it - what happens for the child afterwards?
What happens to a child when he or she is tormented by a depraved, violent nasty adult and no one listens, hears or understands, when no one steps in to defend the child, to protect the child from the depraved and violent adult and it happens within a care system, and that child has to carry that terror in silence, alone, as he or she lives on, day by day?
Do you know what it is to live only because you find yourself alive, numbed to the core, unable to live for anything? That is not resilience.
What happens when the child tries to speak of what was done to him or her and no one wants to hear of it? What happens to the adult Survivor when he tries to speak and no one wants to hear of it?
What happens when this desperate thing is institutionalised, when this level of mistreatment is systemic across a country, within the governance of a State, paid for by taxes?
What happens when this is done for decades, afflicting generations of children?
An action is taken, a thing is done, harm is caused and no one intervenes and there are aftershocks, outcomes, reverberations - none of them good or healthy.
How many children endured this, how many attempted to live on only to die early, broken beyond coping - how many survivors did not survive long? They are invisible, vanished. The dead do not speak to the living. They cannot fight for justice. They will never receive justice.
The living cannot speak to the dead, only to each other, and still be heard.
What happens to a generation of children when a significant number of us are tormented by depraved, violently nasty adults and no one listens, hears or understands, when no one steps in to defend those children, to protect the children from known depraved, violent adults and it happens within a care system, repeatedly, and those children have to carry that terror and their interior wounded state in silence, often unknown to each other, alone in a crowded room, as they live on, day by day?
What happens to them when they in turn become parents, and find themselves struggling with their next generation of children, unable to respond naturally, openly, unable to meet their needs, having lived with their needs as children unmet.
Do you know what it is like to be that child, growing into a teen, becoming an adult, carrying that toxic load in silence, trying to live well, flailing and failing?
Who indeed needs to be brave, courageous and generous?
Who needs to put their hand up, and who should admit to what was done - not ‘what happened’ - but what was done to so many little children. What was done quite deliberately - who needs to put their hand up for that?
Church and State and people protected Church and State and people, and they all knew this was being done.
We are not victims. We were victimised.
Theres a crucial difference between the two statements.
I don’t want to fight for justice. I want justice. I’m tired, exhausted, breaking. We are tired, exhausted, breaking. Thousands upon thousands of us, our needs as children unmet, our needs as adult survivors unmet.
Why must we fight for justice?
Why do you, even still, forsake us so?
Kindest regards
Corneilius
Thank you for reading this blog.
"Do what you love, it is your gift to universe."
This blog, like all my other content creation work is not monetised via advertising. If you like what I present, consider sharing my content. If you can afford the price of a cup of coffee or a pint of beer/ale/cider for a few months, please donate via my Patreon account.
A demonstration, directed at The Vatican and towards Pope Benedict and his entourage, who were on a state visit to England. I was there as a Survivor. The march comprised a wide range of The Vatican's critics in Society, from Feminists to Anarchists, Atheists to Pagans, Wizards, Witches, Elves and Trolls, Queers, Lesbians, Communists, Philosophers and Physicists, and Protestants. The rally of the angry comprised all ages, all classes, it was colourful and it was witty. The atmosphere was friendly. Then there was David Icke fan-club. Ick.
Survivor groups from across the UK, Ireland and elsewhere participated. There were many representatives of survivors concerns. As one would expect. They have work to do.
Historical Context
By 2010 the Irish State and population had already spent 20 or so years unveiling a sordid history of 'historical child sexual abuse' - so called to discern it from any child abuse still happening- a story of some seventy years of common place child abuse across multiple State and Church operated residential institutions. Somewhat hard to digest.
Incomprehensive.
Four public Inquiries revealed widespread harm, at scale. Patterns of abuse of children, women and men held in 'care settings' where the State handed the operational care of vulnerable children and adults to the Church and their various Orders, paying the institutions fees, taxpayers cash, for the services provided. The State had oversight duties and neglected them. Both State and Church are liable.
The Irish State offered political and economic support for the Church and The Vatican before offering anything to Survivors. "You back me, I'll back you.." and then defend themselves accordingly against living witness testimony?
Those inquiries focused on Industrial Schools, Mothers and Babies Homes, Magdalene Launderies, and the response from Church and Civil authorities to cases of child abuse in some dioceses. The people of Ireland reeled in shock, and attitudes changed swiftly. The people supported the Survivors. The Government was forced to take action, to establish recognition and redress. It drags it's heels still, pulling against the perceived leash of honesty and evidence, not understanding that honesty and evidence is what will liberate the Government and the State from it's burden, and transform it into a work of social nurture, political equity, justice and humanity. Yes, I know. I'm way too romantic, optimistic and naïve.
I am pointing at the healthy place, that's all. I know it's there.
These inquiries revealed that Church and State authorities knew of the abuse, and that they allowed the Church to cover up these crimes, to move offending clerics from site to site, often leaving them in supervisory contact with vulnerable people, only for them to offend again, and again, and again.
This enabled life long repeat offenders to subsist within the Church systems. This caused even more harm, upon harm.
The agenda was to protect the good name of the Church, justification for handling this criminal activity internally, under Canon Law, thus evading Civil and Criminal Law.
They rationalised offering survivors and their families settlement, out of court, with confidentiality agreements in exchange for cash, as an act of Christian mercy, whilst they made sure that it was backed by setting out on an offensive, adversarial stance backed by expensive legal counsel. Nudge Theory in practice.
Impact
The impact on the children and the adults harmed due to all of this evasive action was set aside. Not considered important.
The effect was to enable widespread sexual and emotional abuse, to the extent that abusers recognised that they had a relatively free hand, that the Church convinced themselves and everyone else that the offenders were committing sins, and that was to be taken at face value by Church authorities, and their offences were not therefore treated as crimes, under the criminal code. They had been indicted by God, and absolved. God is merciful.
What that status offered the predatory ones as they operated within the Church Canon culture was real world impunity - they would not face legal, criminal accountability, and the Church's name would be protected. Penance was paid in prayer, and a new location was happily accepted.
That strategy - to protect and uphold the status of The Church and The Vatican, was fully supported, in full awareness, by the Irish State, the Irish Government and the Irish political establishment as an ethnic cultural necessity.
The Impact II
Tens of thousands of lives destroyed by predatory men assaulting vulnerable children. Degrees of repeat offending suggestive of a 'life style choice' embedded in Church mores.
Traumatised children, often over extended periods of time, multiple assaults, who grow up silenced, managed, ignored, abandoned, who somehow found the strength to live well, who succeeded, by degree, and those who did not. Those who suffered in silence or noisily. The suffering as those children aged and became parents, traumatised parents doing their best. And seeing the impact play out into the next generation. Because a true harm was covered up. A harm was not resolved, and the pain perpetuated. A lot of people. A lot of people.
For seventy years.
There's an inquiry or two yet to be had on the matter of historical institutional care of children and predatory abuse in Ireland. It's not over yet.
There has not yet been any public inquiry in Ireland, into the many Church run boarding schools and day schools across Ireland, in which the same patterns of adverse harmful behaviour have been played out, over those seven decades, from 1922 - 1992. This is a serious matter. That is a large population of children, over an extended period. Wow.
A public inquiry is being scoped out, finally - but only after three survivors spoke out on RTE's live Saturday night premium talk show, The Late Late Show, an appearance in public to unveil the story, which flowed from efforts of the past pupils of one elite boarding school, a small group of alumni who sought to listen to the voices of survivors, to hear what they knew, who reached out to the survivor community and to the wider school community to allow people to bear witness to their experience and provided a forum for those involved to share their concerns.
This was part of their process designed to try to leverage a public demand for a formal apology from the school Authorities involved.
Their efforts - and the response of survivors to their efforts, supported by other Survivors advocacy groups and individuals -finally opened to the public discourse in Ireland the reality of seventy years of Irish School systems and Clerical CSA.
Many survivors had long been demanding such an inquiry, but have been rebuffed by Church and State, ignored by the News media, time and time again. Somehow, boarding school survivors remained invisible.
Last November, 2022, as I wrote above there occurred live witness testimony of three survivors, to the Irish nation, presented on live TV in such manner as made it impossible for the nation to evade the matter. This public witness statement flowed from the work described above.
The courage, humility and humanity of the three survivors who presented themselves and shared some of their stories, as witnesses, was abundantly clear, as was their years of suffering, which continues and will continue until justice is fully met, until the unmet needs of the children, and the adults they are now are being materially met.
The things they spoke of, their experiences as they were, appalled the listener, and the nation, to the core. One could sense an audience in shock, upright and angry, and determined to see this through. "How could that even happen? They must find justice to the full!" That was the feeling at the end of that presentation, the feeling from the presenter and the audience, intensely so. The stood and gave the three Survivors a standing ovation, for eight minutes.
Time will tell how this plays out. These matters take time, patience and persistence is our daily fare.
Progress
It is to be hoped that justice, accountability, honesty will flow from this process. Reparations, including end of life support at every level of need, in recognition of the unmet needs of all those children at the time of the assaults, and ever since. Meeting the unmet needs of the children they were, as they present in the adults they are today. That sort of care, in detail.
They deserve no less.
Bearing in mind that this dynamic ran for seventy years, and that many Survivors have passed away, without relief, without recognition, validation or support. Every year of delay reduces the numbers of living survivors, many of whom die earlier than the average.
There is much work to be done, and it is serious work that must stand on evidence, honesty, empathy and a robust justice that allows closure for all concerned.
The reactionary self-defence of the institutions must be mediated and diffused so that justice can prevail, and peace be restored.
Then we can move on.
So, to go back to 2O1O and the Pope
Before the demonstrations, I met with a gathering of people, organising to make placards, preparing leaflets, you know the usual paraphernalia of street demonstrations, to plan our demo, finding people to team up with in smaller groups for the afternoon's action.
I gave a short talk on the story of Irish Survivors recent history from my perspective. I had read The Case of The Pope, by Geoffrey Robertson. I understood the ground I and other Survivors were standing on. Well , at least I knew what I stood for.
I wanted the Vatican to be courageous, to be Christ-like, to be honest, transparent and to open their files - to share what they know - to survivors, to submit all allegations to inspection and investigation, to record the accurate history as far as those records reveal - for The Vatican to stand aside from dealing with such offenses under Canon Law, to allow civil and criminal law process to proceed, unhindered, to make reparations and to make future policy commitments in areas of child protection, reporting etc. Not too much to ask, considering the scale of the criminality, historical attitudes argument set aside.
I made a small placard with the words - Protect The Children, Not The Church - written in bold type. I knew what I was doing. I knew why I was there, and what little impact I would make. I was not there alone. Those numbers held meaning and hope, a route towards correct action. Hope springs eternal in my heart and mind. I do not apologise for that. Far from it. Anyways...
While I was doing that, making my placard, I noticed one group who were making a series of signs, alleging that The Pope was a paedophile. I went over to them, and asked them if they had read any evidence that Pope Benedict was a paedophile, because I had not, and I would be really interested to read such evidence. I mentioned there was evidence of his involvement in maintaining the policy of covering up the reality of predatory men operating within institutions caring for vulnerable populations.
They mentioned various authors, youtubers, notable writers of hypothetical scenarios. They suggested that the allegation was obviously true. 'Just look at him!' They had read no such evidence. Some mentioned 'Illuminati,' and various other conspiracy hypotheses. Others stated the obvious - that The Vatican was corrupt, a political action religion, wealthy and powerful and guilt of many crimes - and therefore the slander was justifiable. Rage!
I told them that they were protesting against the Vatican, as a political attack, rather than demonstrating support for survivors and for the necessary work survivors are seeking help for. Survivors work is not a political attack. Survivors have no need for that. Survivors need justice. Period.
I told them that exploiting Survivors tragedy - packaging the pain, fear, suffering, despair, the lived experienced lives and suicides of so many innocents - as an emotional trigger to make a political point in that way confuses the discourse, introduces hatred as a political utility, makes survivors look like they make false allegations was a profound and dangerous error in their case and a standard tactic of authoritarian regimes.
"All of this undermines Survivors struggle for justice, because it does not help them. It confuses the situation."
I told them that what they were doing was therefore hindering the work of Survivors. I told them that making false allegations of that nature, in public, allegations that were blatantly un-evidenced, directed at The Pope was stupidly reckless.
"Stick to the known, evidenced verified facts or get off the pot!"
When used as a political weapon, such allegations de facto seek to exploit both the disgust of decent people and the lived experience of the harm and trauma and suffering and pain that survivors have endured, leveraging a caricature as a sensational, manipulative and false dog whistle, riding roughshod over the most pertinent people in this matter - the Survivors.
Making false claims undermines survivors efforts, and all survivors know this.
For a genuine survivor activist this weaponisation of child sexual exploitation is an insult to the work they are undertaking.
Exploiting the pain and suffering implicit in the experience, exploiting the reactionary disgust of bystanders as they avoid really understanding Survivors lived experience, exploiting survivors efforts, piggy backing on their struggle, to launch a political weapon, for an entirely different agenda, making no progress for Survivors in the process.
That pissed them off
I knew in that moment, by their reaction, that they were not here for me, as a Survivor, as someone who had just given a talk on what being a Survivor means. I knew that people like that are not there for the Survivors at all. They do not have our back.
They started to argue with me and I with them. And I stopped. There was no point in this. The outrage in my heart needed a big sky.
I said to them: "You do what you want to do, I cannot associate with what you are doing. I've made my point. You now know what you did not know a few minutes ago".
And with that I left them, and went to the demonstration more or less on my own. I met up some of them later, and the Pope Allegation signs were absent. I noted that, and lauded them for that wisdom, that understanding. Grudges held post resolution are a self dug hole.
Digging Holes
The recent ads crafted by The Labour Party, one of which is featuring Rishi Sunak, implying the smiling Rishi is not at all bothered by convicted child sexual abusers current freedoms, with Labour's empty promise of a land of Law and Order where child abusers will tremble in fear!
Fake slur, appeal to disgust, cite statistic out of context, trigger a reactionary, gain a voter.
Here's another way to look at it, from the perspective of a Survivor - "Labour are deploying a vote chasing tactic - publishing content that exploits the reaction to the trauma of children who have been so profoundly harmed, exploited violently by adults for sexual purposes, using it as a trope to exacerbate disgust, in pursuit of a political agenda. Presenting a manipulative slur that has not one shred of evidence to it, that presents a very different proposition than the one at hand - organised child sexual exploitation is well established and pretty much has a free hand in England because neither the police nor the judiciary are on top of it, and the Legislature is clearly failing it it's core duties and responsibilities in this matter today, as it has been doing for decades.
This is not a partisan matter. Labour does not want to look at this honestly. So let's sling some mud! After all, it's what THEY do"
Actually, it is what bullies do. Period. Bullies do this kind of shite. All of them.
I'm not anti-Labour. I am anti-bullying in politics, local, national and international. It's all bullshit.
The Labour Ad implies that smiley Rishi Sunak, the Asian PM, does not care much about prosecuting or punishing adults guilty of child sexual abuse and incarcerating them - GRRRRRRR! and that New Clean Labour does, and will indeed prosecute and punish all those guilty of child sexual abuse. YAAAY! Vote For Labour!"
Intermixed with this is the Race card, the insinuations prevalent across English political public discourse. Systemic means systemic. Dog Whistles all over the shop.
The ad is a targeted intentional lie. It is bullshit. It has racist dog whistle overtones. It has a light blue background. Red is dead, at Labour HQ!
It's an appalling ad. And it is one of several, a series. All doing the exact same tactic.
Public facing content targeting a known bias, vulnerability, fear, hatred, exacerbating the emotional reaction of the target, in order to nudge the target in to behaviour that can be exploited.
This is truly cruel behaviour.
1. It does nothing to ameliorate and balance the bias, the vulnerability, the fear, the hatred. It stokes emotions and misdirects attention, it does nothing to address the reality of the issue, the problem of child sexual exploitation functioning as a multi-million pound industry across the UK.
2. The it exploits the target, not in the targets best interests, not even in the victimised demographics interest, but in the targeteers interest.
A treble cruelty.
Dodgy. There ought to be a law against this kind of behaviour.
Both Labour and the Conservatives are digging holes for themselves, in their exhibitionist bullying. They have no credibility left, whatsoever.
Kindest regards
Corneilius
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