Thursday, 28 March 2013

Civilisation and Children. Our Future, Our present and our past.

The patterns of behaviour, of manipulation and warped logic of Governments and other Institutions that hold Power, the story of how Governments et al behave towards so many billions of people appear similar to the patterns of behaviour, manipulation and logic of violent, abusive or neglectful and powerful parents of other primary carers in their actions towards children. Parental abuse. The outcomes are similar. The diagnosis would also follow similar lines in both cases.

The difference is a matter of scale, The 'economics' of scale means natural organisms and all living processes pay the price. Nature is not an economy.

I think the Civilisation I was born into is an expression of that experience, of children as objects to be moulded, worker, of growing up around a spectrum of Adult behaviour that is demanding, dynamic, overpowering, indoctrinating, confusing and often dangerous, an experience which happens for so many of us as babies, infants, toddlers and into childhood and that to change, to aletr that Civilisation, I feel the need to prioritise dealing with what happens for our infants so that their experience meets all the natural cues for empathy, connection, self awareness, acceptance that our biology mandates. As a matter of world peace. Amongst other matters.

Abuse is not nature's major driving force for sure. And it's not what babies are expecting. It need not be the driving force for Civilisation.

The mainstream is 20 years behind the Scientific and common sense literature that shows exactly how the biological mandate is disrupted, what it's affects are, what the behavioural outcomes tend to be and, importantly, how to avoid all that disruption and heal or alleviate the adverse affects of any disruption where possible, by supporting the biological mandate.

This makes financial sense, as well as moral and ethical sense, for us all. Current estimates are that for every £10 spent in supporting the biological mandate the State or Society would save £60 from not having to deal with the outcomes of disruption within one generation. Saving that cost year on year, freeing up more than the cash, freeing the people from the biologically disruptive practices.

The disruptions the research has revealed are mostly standard practices in child rearing across the English speaking world, eg: letting 'babies cry it out'  to force them to sleep on their own, etc and Religious and  Institutional Indoctrination or part inherited Puritan/Victorian dogma that went global or part consumerist propaganda, regarding treatment of children in one form or another, plus on top of all that, the very serious harmful abuse and other more intense life situations. They are part of a spectrum.

"The Psychology of any given Society, Community, Family or group is both revealed and perpetuated in how that population relates to and treats children."

We will not help parents change by blaming them, punishing them. We can only help in this matter if we support and encourage the biological mandate towards empathy.

Kindest regards


Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

What happens in the womb is a predictor of many patterns in adulthood.

Here's a short talk on the profound affects of our experience in utero, at birth and in early infancy.....

I was conceived by two parents who had a variety of serious issues emanating from their own experiences. My mother had MS, had lost 4 children before I was born. I was born premature by one month, by caesarian birth. I spent 6 weeks in an incubator.

I know my mother loved me. I know she was very stressed. My father was an alcoholic.

The experiences I lived through did set up patterns that I was able to fully acknowledge only in my late 30's.

My own child was wanted by both her mother and father. She was born at home, supported by midwives and her mother used a birth pool. At the time we both loved each other, even though we had our issues. Her mother had a child, a boy, some 5 years earlier. I became his step-father.

In my relationship with him, my parenting patterns emerged and I managed, eventually, to begin to see these and to deal with some of them over the next four years we were together.

We separated, and though it was difficult at the time, I see now that it was the correct thing to do. I spent the next 12 years slowing working on my own unresolved issues, for my own health and well being.

In fact that work continues, and I don't see an end to that work. Nonetheless over the years I have become more at self empathic and at ease with who I am, and what I lived through, to the extent that I no longer 'blame' those who harmed me because I see their lives in context of what they and their parents went through. I still hold certain people accountable for some of the things they did to me. That is appropriate, I feel, because it helps me to be realistic about certain facts.

The primary fact is this : we are born into a Society we did not create, and in my case, a Hierarchically Violent Society, that mediated Power throughout peoples lives in many adverse ways which they could not counter.

I was born to a well-off Irish  middle class family in 1959. The profound psychologically adverse affects of the Christian concepts related to Original Sin, Sexuality and Obedience to Authority, overlayed with 800 years of intense strife and oppression,with two civil wars and world wars in living memory, do not vanish overnight, nor even in the passage of one generation, 30 years or so. The process of recovery takes time.

There are ways to nurture that process. These resources are ways in which we can, each of us, nurture ourselves and in some ways heal from any adverse experience we may have lived through.

Understanding one's earliest experiences, and where one was born into in an historical timeline - the context of our parents lives, and their parents before them, in the Society there were living in - are important resources in this work. There are many others, and this blog refers to those resources on a  regular basis.
As Stephen Harrod Buhner writes, "It helps if you become your own best friend and find out what is true about all this for yourself."

Kindest regards


Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Hugo Chavez and Caring Empathy.

Caring Empathy is a biological mandate.

It's an expression of optimum biological health in a human being.

As such it predates any concepts of 'spirit', or 'ideology' or 'morality' as it exists within the womb, in every womb, just waiting for the corr
ect NURTURING environment for it's fullest expression. This is what Science tells us.

In truth it is also one of the best long term thrivival strategies of all, for it enables co-operation, working WITH natural processes and our habitat. It is also the primary mode of human living for the majority of human beings over the past 250,000 years and before.

However if the child does not receive that nurturing, the adult he or she becomes will build a societal structure lacking in caring empathy, which will generate a cycle of breaking with the nurturant modality of human living.

Which is where we are today. We CAN break that cycle, and we CAN return to our basic biological mandate, without 'going back to caves' or even 'living in mud huts'.

It's a question of choice, of accurate information and ultimately of resistance to abusive power conditioning.

The choice is ours.

Hugo Chavez (RIP) clearley cared about the poorest people in Venuzuela, and understood their lives. He had to deal with a very, very difficult situation, he saw the pointlessness of violence (as in overthrowing by violence) by his own personal experience and worked for many years to build a base amongst the poorest people. By helping them to help themselves.

Unlike western politicians who have built a base amongst the very richest and the indebted middle classes (those with a mortgage).

Voting % amongst the poor have been falling year on year, all over Europe and the USA for that reason - that is a meaningful vote of no confidence. It is not apathy.

Kindest regards


Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

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