Hamlet's Sololiqoy re-written for England 2022 : As raw sewage is poured into clean waters. To preserve profits.



Gammlet: Brexshit Shakespeare aka Shitspeare

Turd Act.

Scene : Poop, floating, lots of poop. Rich Owners smoking turd cigars. Every time they mention 'growing the economy' they pump raw sewage into our waters. 

Sovereignty.

Script: Actor holds plastic turd in hand, and looks intently at it.


 
“To the sea, or not to the sea?
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
 to take profit against a sea of turds,
And by opposing, send them again.
And again.

To fan The Shit,
No more; and by The Shit I mean to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand unnatural years 
The English are heir to: 'tis a  
Devoutly Norman Ruling Class. 

To swim, to paddle ;
To surface, perchance to splash —ay, there's the turd:
From within that floater of death what screams may come,
When we have shat on all this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the lack of respect
That makes calamity of so long life.

For who would bear the whiffs and pongs of rancid poop,
The profiteers's wrong, the good are made to wade in effluvia!

The pongs of dispirited Brexit lore, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his arse make
With a bare moon, our prime minister? 

Who would floaters bear,
To grunt and swear under a weary life,
But that the dread of something shit-like just before death,
The undiscovere'd slurry, from whose germs
No traveller returns healthy, these turds puzzle the will,
And makes us rather bear those Tories we have
Than fly to others much much worse, that we know not of?

Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the sewage of profit, cast offshore thoughtlessly,
And enterprises of taking great piss and old bovine movements
With this regard their currents turn turds awry
And we lose the lot.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

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