Letter : We should be grateful to Survivors who have spoken out.

A Chara,

The recent arrests of three men accused of sexual abuse of children at Carrignavar Boarding School reveals what has been studiously avoided by so many, that abuse was just as prevalent in fee paying boarding schools as it was in Industrial Schools. I know, as I attended five 'elite' fee paying Catholic boarding schools for 12 years.

Perhaps the reasons for this avoidance are two fold.

There are some who went to those schools, who were abused, though not sexually, and who to this day would claim that the experience made them the men they are today.

The second reason might be that some of these alumni of the 'better sort of boarding school' have been or are still in positions of power and prestige, and their lack of self empathy might affect their willingness to face the truth of their own experience, let alone the truth of Survivors testimony.

Perhaps it also affected and still affects their decision making in other areas, especially with regard to Governance, in that a lack of self empathy runs concurrent with a lack of empathy for others.

It is clear to all and sundry that Irish Governance has demonstrated a clear lack of empathy for the people of Ireland for a long time.

Perhaps the courage of Survivors who have spoken out, even when others have refused to accept their testimony, might be seen as part of the healing of Irish society, leading us all towards greater empathy.

We should be grateful.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Martin: Church inquiry team to report to Pope by Easter

http://www.irishexaminer.ie/breakingnews/ireland/martin-church-inquiry-team-to-report-to-pope-by-easter-501326.html

My letter in response :

A chara,

"Diarmuid Martin said the apostolic visitation appointed to help the catholic church in the wake of the clerical sex abuse crisis, has completed its work."

Again, the focus is on helping the Church, not the Survivors.... Helping the Church to do what?

'Manage the crisis'. As any Survivor will tell anyone who cares to listen, or whose heart is strong enough to feel or sense what it is like to be a Survivor of childhood sexual abuse or brutality perpetrated by Clergy in Institutions of 'care', the focus on managment of 'the crisis' wounds, and re-wounds all Survivors, because it is fundamentally dishonest and not about the Christian values of compassion, healing and nurturance, but about the non-christian values of Power and Status.

That anyone, be they clerics or Government Officials, can stand by and not act rapidly in the best interests of the Survivors, is a profound indictment of our Society.

The sad truth is that if it were not for the voices of Survivors, this would remain a secret even still.

Where are the good people of Ireland? Where are the good Christians?

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Launch of Survivors Voices, Europe @ Conway Hall 26th March.

I attended the launch event for Survivors Voices Europe @ Conway Hall, London on Saturday March 26th.

http://survivorsvoice-europe.org/

“Survivors Voice Europe is the European liaison of Survivors Voice USA, the non-profit organisation founded by clergy abuse survivors Bernie McDaid & GaryBergeron. 

Survivors Voice is an international community of men and women who were abused by Catholic clergy in their childhood, and despite suffering the worst betrayal of body and trust, have found that in connecting with each other and sharing their experience, strength and hope, they can soar above their abusers and find empowerment.”

I was there, got the T-Shirt, had my photo taken by Silvia Amodio  for her “Out of the shadows” project and I met the founders, Sue Cox, Ton Leerschool, Bernie McDaid & Gary Bergeron. I also met Dr Tommaso Dell’Era from Italy, a former member of Opus Dei and a survivor..... and who is a whistle blower, who has written a book on the Opus Dei. He was travelling with Ton and Sue, and is part of Survivors Voice Europe.

Also present was the one of the organisers of the Protest The Pope Rally of last September, Marco Tranchino.

There was about 35 people in attendance, whilst hundreds of thousands were distracted by a useless protest organised by the TUC who refuse to call a general strike.

I met other Survivors, and the integrity and empathy was clear.

Those who spoke, who are Survivors, made a lot of sense to me. Their experience and commitment, courage and warmth was clear from the moment I locked eyes with each.

Sue Cox opened the event, and introduced each of the speakers. She spoke of her experience since last September’s “Protest The Pope” rally. She has been working as a counsellor for many years, and it was only last year that she came out and spoke publicly of her own abuse experience. She was surprised with the attention she has received, gladdened of the support and appalled at the BBC and UK Governments support for the Pope. Sue spoke movingly of the effects of the abuse,  that for years delivered self hatred, fear, insecurity.

Sue then introduced Ton Leerschool, who is Dutch, and who has been working with Gary and Bernie and Sue over Skype for the past two years or so. Ton is a Survivor. He is the lead European co-ordinator for Survivors Voices. Unfortunately I cannot recall of his presentation, other than to  say that I was moved by his clarity and commitment.

Sue then introduced Bernie and Gary, and presented them with some commemorative glass 'awards'. Bernie spoke, and he was clear as a bell. He described his initial experiences of coming out and how he felt betrayed by the process he went through as he took the Church to court, and especially the aftermath, as he made efforts to speak to various Church and Vatican Officials.

He even journeyed to Rome, where with Sue and others, they tried to gain an audience with Vatican Officials. For days they attempted to get an audience, and each day as they would leave the Vatican buildings, the Swiss Guards would question them to see if they had met with anyone, because 'they had a bet going on it!'.

They held vigils in Rome with Survivors who are deaf and mute, who were abused by Priests in 'special schools'. They also participated in a day of witness in which these 'voiceless' people, with out sound, told their stories. Sue had also spoken of these events, and had noted that the sign language they used was graphic and clear, and profoundly shocking, and that she was deeply moved by their bravery. Many tears were shed during those days...

Bernie said it was really clear that these people - Church Officials - did not care one whit for the Survivors, for the children and that they were, and remain utterly arrogant and committed to retaining their Power and Status. Bernie noted that he did not understand WHY so few people are capable of understanding what the systemic abuse by clergy really means, and why so few are willing to confront the Church, over the abuse and the cover-ups.

Gary followed on from Bernie, and he spoke of his own experience in telling his story, to his family and to the world. He spoke of how he had, on the face of it, the 'perfect life' - good job, plenty cash, two marriages ... and than spoke of how he took a good look one day and realised that he had lived in 23 places in 22 years, that he had in fact been running away all his life. He spoke of the struggle to bring his abusers to justice, of how after he spoke out, many more Survivors came forwards.

He also found out that his 78 year old father had also been sexually abused by a priest as a child. He spoke of his desire to see that his children are saved from a similar fate. He spoke of how it came as a shock to him, to find that the man he had seen as a rock in his life had kept that terrible secret all those years, and noted that the keeping of such secrets is very much a part of what enables the abuse culture to continue.

He spoke about his commitment to the work of confronting the Church, and all Institutions and people that sexually abuse children, not for himself, but for all the children alive today and those who are yet to come to this life.

At this point we took a break.

After the break, Tomasso spoke of his experiences at the hands of Opus Die, who recruited him at age 14. He spoke of how this had been banned by the Vatican, yet Opus Die managed to 'get around' this ban, by duplicity. Tomasso described in some detail the psychological machinations employed by Opus Dei on the young people they recruit,  the pecking order of hierarchy, the 'love bombing at the beginning, the slow and steady grooming of their recruits in ever more intense levels of abuse and control and he showed examples of the tools they use for 'mortification of the flesh'. His book is in Italian, and has yet to be translated into English and other languages. He's a brave and compassionate man, and no fool. I really took to him. We recognised in each other the 'elite' training backgrounds we shared.

Next up was Peter Thatchell, and strangely his speech was to me dry, almost perfunctory. Perhaps it was the lack of people in the room .... I know as a performer that it is sometimes the case that we become used to the energy of a crowd, so much so that when that energy is not present, we are diminished. That was not he case for any of the previous speakers. Peter Thatchell is well respected for his Human Rights work, and has been on that road for over 30 years.... His words lacked the vitality of those who speak of their own experience, and were to be disappointing. He apologised for not staying for he had to leave directly after his presentation to attend the TUC protest and speak there.... 

I almost approached him to ask that he mention this gathering at the larger, but held myself in check, as the next speaker was starting his presentation.

Keith Porteus Wood is the National Secular Society's Executive Director, and he spoke of his organisations commitment to supporting Survivors, and Survivors Voices in particular. He spoke of his own long standing actions in Europe, to request that the EU Parliament deal with the fact that the Vatican is in breach of the Convention on the Rights of The Child, on six different points, an international treaty, ratified by all member states of the United Nations General Assembly, bar USA and Somalia....

He mentioned that this is important, because these breaches are criminal offences, and for which the Pope as fiduciary head of The Vatican, The Holy See and The Catholic Church is personally liable. The same principles that applied at Nuremburg apply to the Vatican and all it’s officials with regard to Crimes against Humanity.

The last person to speak was a Solicitor who specialises in Child Abuse cases, David Greenwood. I found his presentation a little dry, and he appeared to be ill-informed about the efficacy and intent of the Redress process in Ireland, for he called for similar efforts, as part of a wider judicial effort, which elicited comments from myself and from others in attendance who had actual experience of that process, which interrupted his presentation and threw him somewhat.

We who had commented spoke to him afterwards, to help him get clear about this illusion of the ‘response; by Church and State. If he works with us, he will learn. We will see.

There was no time for any Q&A session, as the event had started late – traffic in London was dreadful that day and people were still attempting to get to the event. And as the hall had to be cleared really quickly to prepare for the next use of the hall, there was precious little time to socialise.

I spoke briefly with Sue, Gary and Bernie outside as they were loading up their car to leave, in the cold bitter wind. The connection has been made, and the work will progress. In spite of the low attendance, I am glad the seed has been planted, that I attended and that I have met these fine people.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

‘No record’ of how Cork charity spent state funds : Irish Examiner, my response

http://www.examiner.ie/ireland/politics/no-record-of-how-cork-charity-spent-state-funds-136526.html

A Chara,

With regard to Right of Place, we are seeing a problematic lack of transparency similar to that of the Catholic Church Bureaucracy, past Irish Governments, and others involved in the Residential Schools horror story.

...

This is in stark contrast to the open-ness of many Survivors, who have had to deal with an unwillingness to believe them, fear and ridicule, intimidation and, not least, the adverse affects of what they endured.

Let it be said that those who deny, turn their backs on the story, or for whatever reason feel fearful of facing the truth, have not and will not suffer anything like the Survivors themselves if they face the truth.

Right of Place and others in similar positions must be made 100% transparent and be subject to adequate oversight.

Their staff must be subject to the same oversight, and also rigorously checked for their backgrounds and expertise in this area of supporting Survivors.

Failure in this is an abdication of duty of care, and will inevitably lead to the totally avoidable re-traumatising of those who need all the support and nurturance that Irish Society can generate.

Yours etc

Corneilius Crowley

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Letter published 19th March 2011 : http://www.examiner.ie/opinion/letters/church-must-be-open-with-abuse-survivors-148683.html

On recent developments re: The Irish Residential Schools Abuse story

On recent developments re: The Irish Residential Schools Abuse story, Statuary Funds, Cover-ups and a few words to the incoming Irish Government

To whom it may concern.

There are many problems that we as Survivors face, problems are individual and collective.

This means that there are individual solutions and collective solutions. It's not an either/or situation.

These problems are the after effects of the abuse we suffered, which are physical and psychological trauma.

The effects of not having been able to tell others, be they family, friends or support services about our experiences. Loneliness, isolation, fear.

The effects of denial or mitigation or dismissive-ness of our community when we do speak out. Anger, fear, isolation, paranoia.

The effects of holding our wounded-ness for so long, that we develop secondary psychological problems.

The effects of being unable to hold long term relationships, jobs and careers.

The effects of not being able to trust others.

The effects of knowing that the abuse was and is being covered up, the story and history being 'managed' to protect both Church and State and other bodies who held and hold responsibility.

The effects of knowing that abuse is still common, that others are being abused, even to this day, and that the roots of the abuse are not being addressed, and in spite of evidence and plenty of very good scientific understanding (out of which healthful practices have emerged to prevent further abuse) the media and State and Church still avoid promoting these learning’s.

None of these will be resolved by money alone.

They will be resolved by providing adequate support for:

Telling the truth : open forums to tell our stories, open forums to examine who abused, who cover-ed up and why they covered up; criminal prosecutions for all abusers, and detailed inquiries into the actions of all those who covered up, for whatever reason, so that the dynamics of cover-up are understood, so that 'good' people who cover-up understand the impacts of their actions and understand that they must not cover-up.

Providing for our health : by providing best possible health care, best possible community interaction and understanding of the issues and dynamics of abuse.

Providing for our sustenance : Pensions separate from all other benefits are a useful idea.

Prevention: This is REALLY important. Apart from child protection legislation with real teeth, there needs to be a wider understanding of the dynamics of abuse, within families, and within all situations where adults have responsibility and power over children. Schools, care systems, sports training, etc etc.....

There also needs to be a wider understanding of the dynamics of intergenerational trauma patterning, which is how adverse behaviour patterns are passed from generation to generation in spite of peoples best efforts as they 'cope' with the effects (above) of abuse without proper support or understanding.

For all of this there needs to be State Funding of appropriate organisations (led by Survivors, informed by Survivors) PLUS awards to individual Survivors, not as compensation or reparation, but as offers of genuine support, to nurture Survivors for what remains of our lives.

These are my thoughts on this at this time.

Finally let me say this : we have seen how two prominent Survivors, from different perspectives, have in the very recent past, engaged in public disputes that have revealed unresolved behaviour patterns : That one of these Survivors should label and judge other Survivors in adverse ways (from a position of being one who offers 'care' ) speaks of the profound misunderstandings that still dominate the discourse, speaks of the ways in which wounded people can re-wound others, and can be manipulated or 'triggered' by those who perceicve that they have the 'most to lose' in all of this - The State and The Church.

That ANYONE sees it thus - that they have something to lose - speaks volumes of the psychology of the inadequate responses to the abuse story.

There is still so much to do in all of this.

Kindest regards

Corneilius Crowley

London

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

On, Survivors, Helpers and Missionaries…..

There are so many causes and so many people in need, and so many people who wish to help.

And yet progress is incredibly slow. 

More than 100 years after the first public awareness campaign of the criminal and brutal abuse (a word that does not do justice to the realities – it’s more akin to torture) of children in Institutional settings, we are still struggling to come to terms with practices that are ancient and deeply embedded in the Dominant Culture. 

Oliver Twist was the second novel by English author Charles Dickens, published by Richard Bentley in 1838. The story is about an orphan Oliver Twist, who endures a miserable existence in a workhouse. Shock and horror followed, yet fundamental change did not. 

The highly organised Aboriginal Residential School Systems that were instituted in Law by the British, Canadian, Australian, New Zealand,  African, Asian,  North and South American Governments and the Churches all started at this time.

Residential Schools, where the children of colonised cultures children were forced into Institutions to be ‘trained’ or ‘assimilated’ are at least 500 years old. There are threads of these kinds of mechanisms dating back to the Roman Empire.

Children today are still forcibly removed from their families and placed in Institutional ‘care’, often on the most spurious of grounds, and are still suffering from the adverse affects of ‘helpers’, some of whom are genuine, some of whom are predators. The damage from such 'mistakes' may never be repaired.

And still the stories, that is to say the evidence of living Survivors, and the historical record, is routinely ignored, dismissed, denied, suppressed. 

Survivors are targeted, intimidated, manipulated, hospitalised in psychiatric wards and marginalised. Not least by those who are responsible for those systems of ‘care’ that have harmed so many children. Or their supporters.

There can be no statute of limitations when a child’s life is destroyed thus, for the sentence of pain, confusion, shame, fear last the entirety of the life of the adult that child becomes, and is often passed on as a silent legacy through their chidlren and their families in what is known as intergenerational trauma pattering. "The sins of the fathers.........." means more than most understand, and those who do understand what this means take opposing views; one side sees it as an essential tool of power, the other as an essential understanding to break the cycles of abuse and neglect.

All too often those who seek to help the Survivors are themselves embedded in the ideologies and beliefs of the system and unwilling to confront the realities of that system in a meaningful way. They are funded and given legitimacy by those Institutions most culpable for the abuses Survivors survived. They have internalised the system to such a degree that to confront the system means confronting their own sense of identity. And time and again, when Survivors bring this up, the Survivors are called 'trouble makers' or worse....

All too often helpers get in the way of the Survivors, and are co-opted by the Societal power flows so as to protect those Powers.

All too often, helpers become frustrated with those they seek to help – because they do not understand that the affects of abuse and neglect are life long, that they recur again and again, and all too often the helpers claim that those they seek to help are ‘their own worst enemies’.

Catholics who want to help Survivors yet refuse to confront the realities of Catholic Institutional Power are caught in a vice, trapped in a conflict of interest, and in most cases the Survivors, the children are the losers, and the loss is immense : one’s natural expectation of a life that is loving and loved, healthy and nurturing. 

Psychologists and Social Workers who limit their purview such that Society and the Establishment (Power) are not identified as the drivers of distress that they are; who sustain the myth that it is all in the mind of the person in distress and if only that person can properly ‘manage’ their mind, then all will be well and the person can re-integrate into a toxic Society, get a job and ‘have a life’ – and on whose terms?

Psychiatrists, who claim that distress and adverse behaviour is genetic, and news media that repeat this inaccurate and damaging 'theory' when it is obvious and known scientifically that this is not the case at all, and who prescribe pharmaceuticals as the means to a management system, managing the symptoms of distress that will not abate precisely because the locus of distress is ignored.

People of  Faith, who subscribe to the presence of supernatural demons causing adverse behaviour in human beings, who deem that if only those demons can be exorcised the health will return, and who therefore diminish the human agency at the heart of all abuse.

Conspiracy Theorists who claim that Reptiles, Aliens and other entities are controlling the human race in adverse ways, and in so doing absolve real human beings of real and material responsibilities, and worse stimulate unreasonable fear in many, many people.

Technocrats who posit technological solutions to the problems of Civilisation which do not include the leaving of lands as yet ‘unexploited’ to the peoples (and animals ) that dwell therein, whose cultures are now understood to be both sustainable, healthy in physiological and psychological terms, whose societies are as diverse as the habitats they have emerged from, and the return of those lands already taken, for remediation according to the wisdom of experience of those ancient, ancient cultures.

In all these cases, the helpers ‘sense of identity’ replaces their ‘sense of self’. The external is governing the internal. And thus they are unable to respond accurately, appropriately to the realities of Survivors, Aboriginal Peoples, the Environment.

Too many operate under the false assumptions of the Society they were born into, and conditioned by; too many say “If only they could be more like me, us, if only they could find a way to ‘fit in’!”

The helpers and Missionaries are NOT always helping as much as they would like to believe. 

The well-meaning MUST face the realities. They must face their own culture and confront it at every turn.

Thus they will leave the space open for those who suffer to help themselves.

Nature is a self healing process. Self healing demands that those who wish to help get out of the way. Giver space to that which needs to grow.

Both Ivan Illych and Paolo Friere have written profoundly, and with great clarity, empathy and honesty on the issue of helpers and missionaries, and their works do a far better job on this issue than I do here... 

Alice Miller too has written extensively, and with clarity on this crucial matter, of the helper, the 'enlightened witness'.

"Q.: What kind of therapist, do you feel, is adequately trained to deal with the adult who has been damaged as an early child?

 
AM:. In my opinion, only therapists who know well of the painful stories of their own childhoods can respectfully and effectively deal with the suffering of their patients. They will not preach them forgetting and forgiveness out of their own fear; they will know that ALL of their patients suffer from the effects of the denial of having been beaten, humiliated or even tortured."

 So too David Smail....

"Having spent my working lifetime in the British National Health Service, I have found that only a minority of patients enter my office feeling themselves subjectively the moral equal of their peers. In addition to the distress that brings them there, most people are apprehensively expecting to be judged. 

This, when you think about it, is an unusual state of affairs for someone consulting a professional adviser. For example, even though you expect a lawyer to be wiser than you in the ways of the law, you do not anticipate when consulting one that you will be treated as a morally inferior being, and any lawyer who treats clients as such is unlikely in the long run to prosper."

And yet, the evidence is that helpers do assume this superiority, time and time again. 

With disastrous results for those they purport to help.

I will be writing more on this. I will be presenting evidence and so will others around the world.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Regarding the news media reports on Monday the 14th of February 2011 about the Church's potential collapse in Ireland.

To the editor,

Regarding the news media reports on Monday the 14th of February 2011 about the Church's potential collapse in Ireland.

If the Church had put up it's hands, had opened up and allowed those abuser priests to be brought to justice, and had offered to make Restorative Justice a material reality for all Survivors, the Church would have become a 21st Century Hero Institute.

Instead the Church denied, covered up, blamed others, engaged in crisis management and intimidated those who pursued legal course of justice, Survivors and their advocates alike, employing techniques they KNEW would re-traumatise Survivors just to knock them down, or throw them off balance.

This is a criminal act in and of it self, pouring more salt on the already unspeakable wounds inflicted on Survivors.

For this is deserves to be utterly dis-established, its wealth taken in it's entirety to provide material support for all Survivors. Not as an act of revenge, but as an act of Restorative Justice. No survivor that I know of wishes harm to anyone.

Those State Governments and Institutions that have co-operated with the Church, or denied their own involvement must also shoulder their portion of the responsibility.

Those of Faith can continue to practice their Faith at the grass roots whilst assisting in the processes that will bring true Restorative Justice if they wish for their Faithfulness to be taken seriously.

If they don't, are they in danger of denying the teachings of Jesus?

What would Jesus do?

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Reclaim Love, Egypt and Empathy

Saturday 12th February, London

We gathered, a small group of some 200 or so happy souls, to celebrate Love.

Piccadilly Circus, London, under the statue of Eros. Solar Powered Mobile Sound Systems, Solar Powered Samba Drummers, Solar Power People, colourful, decorated, laughing.

In it’s 10th year, Reclaim Love, is one woman’s vision to bring more Love into the world.

There are Reclaim Love events in many countries, all occurring on the same day, the Saturday closest to St. Valentines Day, February 14th. From one event to many events world-wide, the Reclaim Love Journey has been one of trial and error, success and growth. Thus we discover, we learn, we succeed and we thrive.

They gathered, initially some few hundred thousand, to confront Power.

Tahrir Square in Cairo, under the gaze on the Military Dictator, Mubarak. Christian, Orthodox, Jew, Atheist, Secular, old, young, men and women.

Mubarak in his 30th year of Rule. A rule enforced by violence, supported by Western Governments, that has cost many Egyptians their lives, has kept many Egyptians in Poverty, that has made some few Egyptians incredibly rich, that has taken money from tourists who gaze in awe and wonder at the pyramids, which were built by slaves, on the command of divine rulers, whose mythology today spawns countless insanities, new gods to frighten and fascinate the minds of all too easily manipulated people.

Mubarak, who has betrayed many, amongst them the long suffering people of Palestine, for a few baubles, for narcissism.

Mubarak, who sent in his Police and thugs, who shot 300 people in an attempt to break this demonstration, this confrontation of Power.

People who, under duress and the fog of water cannon, of tear gas, continued to pray, to offer prayer. Christian and Muslim protecting each other. People who refused to break.

There we saw the real Power of Love. The bridge of empathy.

And over the past few weeks we have watched as these Egyptian people of all sectors, of all creeds, of all ages have held the streets.

They have held the streets because they have looked after each other, cared for each other, even as Mubarak and the State shut down the internet, shut down mobile phone communications and land lines, even as many thousands were being arrested off-screeb, some tortured, many beaten.

Love in action.

A people cannot resist unless they are committed to looking after each other. When we look after each other, when we cover each other’s back, we are free from the worry, that draining paranoia which comes from knowing one’s back is not covered.

This is Love.

Self-Governance is the action of love, expressed by looking after each other, by covering each others backs, by protecting each other from potential attack. By tending each others wounds. When everyone is keyed to this, then all can face forward and focus on the task in hand. Together. Such is solidarity.

This is the real meaning of the Tribe – it is not a collective of ideology, or of religion, nor is it a fashion statement. It is a living  expression, the material expression of how we care for one another, how we cover each others backs.

And love cannot thrive unless there is empathy. For it is empathy that builds the bridges between faiths, between people’s whose beliefs are diverse, between generations, yet whose flesh and blood remains the same, hurts the same, loves the same.

We in the UK have a long, long way to go to be able to do our part.

Because our Governments and Corporations and Bankers have supported and continue to support the most cruel and tyrannical rulers, of all kinds, in many countries. This is our history. This is our present. That support has cost many, many people their lives. That support has resulted in many people living in poverty, in fear, in terror.

All for the purpose of protecting ‘strategic interests’.

Profit and power.

And they will continue that support.

We are the only people who can watch the backs of the Egyptian people, by confronting our Governments, Corporations and Bankers, by demanding that they cease their support for venal, cruel, authoritarian rulers, Miltary forces or installed puppet Governments who pay lip service to ‘democracy’ whilst lining their pockets and toeing the Empire’s line.

That would be an act of love. An expression of material support, and sing of genuine empathy.

Whilst the Egyptian people can take and hold the streets, whilst they can hope that the Military will act with honour and integrity, whilst they face the massive ISI and Police Institutional Power and work rid it of the corrupt, the bullies, the torturers, whilst they organise and hold elections and work towards a constitution that demolishes centralised executive Power, rest assured that those who supported Mubarak for so long will not desist from their intent to dominate, to control, and be aware that the only people who can break that support from the outside are the people’s of the USA and UK and Europe.

We have a moral duty, and an empathic obligation to act with Love.

We abandoned the Afghani people in the winter of 2001.

We abandoned the Iraqi people in the spring of 2003.

The Irish, American, Australian and Canadian peoples have all but abandoned the Survivors of Church and State Residential School Systems.

We must not repeat those mistakes. We must not abandon the people of Egypt.

We must adress these problems directly.

And this must be a step in the long journey towards an empathic society, one that justifies the description ‘decent’ and 'humane’.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

A Survivors Manifesto

An alarming number of adults in the so-called 'civilised' world have little or no empathy for themselves as infants and small children - most have no recall of those times, which is why that empathy seems rare.... and so this also explains why most parents are at a loss with babies and small infants and therefore tend to try to control them, because they have no empathy, they cannot sense the childs needs... and so controlling the baby feels safer and so they look for INSTRUCTIONS.... and are vulnerable to those who give instructions - yet the body knows and if trusted the adult can learn empathy again and recover....

As a child I was beaten, humiliated, punished, or neglected in one way or another, almost daily, and I HAD to believe that I was wrong and deserved the beating, just to maintain my psyche,  even if I did not understand WHY I was being beaten (or their reasons for it). 

I also had to believe the FAITH they hammered into me and that brought me great fear, for I feared I was sinful, nasty, ugly,

It took a long, long time to lose those beliefs about myself.... to find my true heart, my natural integrity.

I consider myself VERY lucky to have made that journey, and whilst it IS infuriating that so many of my brothers and sisters are still stuck in the beliefs and denial, my REAL anger is directed at all those who ensure that the conditioning continues; for the rest, patience and empathy.....

My story is not at all rare, and comparitively speaking, I was lucky..... the stories I read of other childrens lives make that very clear : my point here to make it clear that many, many people have been conditioned by circumstance and Society, rather than truly loved... and only those who are truly loved, not least by themselves, can resist that conditioning in meaningful ways....

I know what it is like to be conditioned and fearful.

I deeply appreciate all the love and support I have received and continue to receive...

I never urge survivors to speak out, in public, unless they themselves feel ready to do so.... just as I would never push a child to do anything. It's always be...st to wait until the child feels eady.

I do urge survivors to find someone they can confide in, to break the silence for themselves - and I do understand that finding that empathic person can be difficult even frightening.

I tell my story to encourage a deeper understanding of what it is to be a Survivor, for there are so many in this society.

Even though I detest war, and think soldeiry a fools game, I FEEL for those troops who return from active combat duty, the many thousands who can just about cope, the many thousands who don't and who 'fall through the cracks' because those around them do not understand what violent trauma does to a persons soul - the movies do not tell the truth about violence and it's effects, neither will the media -and neither wil the NHS, the Health Service nor Social Services....

So it has to be Survivors who do this, and it has to be those strong enough and in a position to do it, because ALL survivors need to be heard, we need to be held, to be allowed to cry, to scream, to vent for this is an essential part of the healing, no matter how uncomfortable it might be for others....

The wounded experience lies trapped beneath those unexpressed cries and wails, is walled in in an attempt to keep it alltogether, to 'fit in' and that keeps us permanently wounded, closed down, shuit off from the full vitality of life.

That is something that no-one deserves.

The stiff upper lip approach has it's merits in a traumatic situation, with limitations, yet beyond that it becomes a trap, a form of denial and assures that trauma patterns are repeated, in one form or another.

And then there are those who adapt to that societal trauma, whose abuse becomes thier identity, and who inflict abuse without conscience or remorse and become part of the System of Power that drives war, neglect, inequality, abuse.. who often 'succeed' and run banks, corporations and countries.... dangerous people, damaged people, charismatic people..... what of them?

Tony Blair, George Bush, Hosni Mubarak, Saddam Hussein, Myra Hindly, Ian Brady, Fred West, David Cameron, the various CEOs of Rapacious Corporations, The Pope, the Abuser Priests, Nuns, Men and Women, children even, the torturers, the bullies and beaters and killers amongst us ...... how are we to deal with these people and how are we to avoid the creation of such damaged people in the future?

How are we to deal with the Institutions that are founded in old patterns of abusive Power?

http://www.restorativejustice.org/

How can we build Institutions that are empathic, and responsive to the needs of us vulnerable human beings, that responds to the needs of the habitat and all that dwell therein?

For it is the case that such people are rarely born, they are the outcomes of Society and Institutional Power as it is.

These are the questions that I muse on, for my childrens sake, for their childrens sake, for yours and all.

I do not have to be perfect to engage thus. I do not have to wait until I have it all sorted out.

I certainly do not have all the answers and I am so glad that there are many good men and women working on these same problems, doing so honestly, with integrity and empathy, and with diligence, day in, day out for entire lifetimes.

I am encouraged that so much is now know and understood of the dyamics of abuse, of the biology of empathy, knowledge that is practical, that replaces belief with action that makes a difference.

What better legacy for our children could there possibly be, better than all the fine buildings, the great works of art, the exploration of space (where no-one human lives...)?

"Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed". -Herman Melville, novelist and poet (1819-1891)

http://www.alicemiller.com

http://www.birthpsychology.com

http://www.violence.de/prescott/bulletin/article.html

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Media Miss the Point, Again...... this is infuriating!

 A head line for October 14 2010  :

Tax investigation could land Pope with €8bn bill
European Commission to investigate exemption allowing the Vatican to avoid paying £2bn a year levy on 100,000 properties
By Michael Day in Milan

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/tax-investigation-could-land-pope-with-83648bn-bill-2106113.html

"The development is the latest blow to an institution that has been rocked by an annus horribilis following the global clerical paedophilia scandal that broke earlier this year, and investigations into money laundering."

What is wrong with the media?

For 20 years or more Survivors of Church abuse have been bringing their stories as EVIDENCE not only of the abuse, but of the cover-up of the abuse and the active protection of abuser priests from public scrutiny and prosecution. For 20 years an more, Survivors have suffered delays, obstruction, mis-understanding, fear and resistance to the truth from almost every quarter.

But we HAVE NOT BEEN SILENT!

What an utter falsehood! This 'story' broke many, many years ago!

Consistently, it is NOT survivors who write these articles, it is NOT Survivors whose opinions and insights are sought after, it is not Survivors who are asked for ideas on the possible resolution, it is not Survivors who are asked for their insights into how Power Relationships operate within the Society they were, unfortunately for them, born into.

The not so silent Survivors have no real voice in the media.

Why? What possible excuse or rationalisation is there for that abscence?

It is bad enough that the EU sees fit to 'probe' into the Taxation Status of The Vatican, yet has not launched a 'probe' into the endemic problem of the mistreatment and abuse of children in the 'care' of The Church; but that no-one inthe media no-one comments sensibly on this glaring omission is frankly unforgiveable, and represents an appaling abdication of mature response ability!

It speaks of a clear and widespread lack of empathy for Survivors and a profund mis-understanding of the nature of the problem, or worse. .....

An attempt to avoid facing this problem square on, for whatever reasons, abandons Survivors, abandons current victims and indictes the media as much as the The Vatican, the protectors of the abuser priests themselves.

WAKE UP!

Let Survivors tell their stories, for they HAVE survived, and they are many, and their paths to resolution, in as much as it has been possible, within their own lives are each a unique struggle for liberation, a font of lived wisdom.

Without their wisdom, you KNOW NOTHING!

And finally, to compare the Popes current problems with those of the Queen in recent years is ludicrous; yet there is dark mirth in it all....

Anus Horribilus!

Arse!

Kindest regards 

Corneilius 

Do what you love, it's your gift to universe

There ain't no Satan! demons deconstructed.

When anyone is abused, and especially when it is small, vulnerable children who are expecting love and nurturing, and the abuse is prolonged and unmitigated, the psyche of the abuser and the painful memory of the trauma penetrates the psyche of the victim. The shock and repeated shock goes deeper and deeper. These memories and feelings are often embedded deep within our bodies, as suppressed memories, old wounds, blocked pathways of vital energy.

If the victim, in an attempt to survive, buries that memory, shuts it away, it remains within nonetheless. The body never lies.

The same applies to any community or society that denies it’s past. That denial is a survival strategy of the survivor.

Recovery is dependent upon recalling and resolving those memories and wounds in a safe environment, where the survivor feels held. Coping strategies are an attempt to manage these feelings without ever releasing them. Coping arises from a deep fear, from the lack of help or safety that is all too common and is, as such,  an adaptive strategy, and an adjustment to the prevailing situation. No real growth or learning is possible with this strategy. Belief becomes an essential tool of survival. Knowledge of the truth is banished. Often the survivor survives because he or she takes on the responsibility fro the abuse.

This is the self-loathing, shame, confusion that the survivors takes on. This si also what stops the survivor from speaking out.

And when, in day to day life, the survivor feels that fear, when the fear is triggered by related or unrelated events in the present, he or she will invariably see it as an external force, not as something emerging from within.

The psyche of a society that is abusive in nature will seem massive to anyone attempting to confront it, just as the psyche of an adult who abuses a child will seem massive to the child. That makes it more difficult to deal with in healthful ways.

These are real forces, they emerge from real events, and in a twisted way, the survival strategy of the victimised often helps the abuser and the abusive society to maintain their power over survivors if those forces are portrayed as being outside the human realm.

Thus Satan is an externalisation of the masked abuse of the Society.

My own demons are externalisations of my inner pain, fear and wounds. When I first saw them, I too saw them as externals, and they terrified me. I had to eat them, to breath into and through them to dislodge that illusion of externality. I had to recognise the parts of the abusers psyche that were within and excise them. This took love to do; that is to say compassion for the child I was, empathy for the child I was, actively recognising the survival strategies I engaged in, actively loving myself the way I found myself, actively nurturing myself. And taking it on, bit by bit, day by day.

Realising this is helpful, because then one has some traction on the problem. One can see that the demon is NOT so much an external force, or that it is beyond one’s reach or ability to deal with. It is not easy, that much is true. It is somewhat easier when one knows, that much is also true.

It takes the entire Society to deal with the Demons of Society, just as it takes an individual to deal with his or her own demons, with support from what Alice Miller calls an ‘enlightened witness’.

Just as many of my helpers were able to empathise with me, and to accompany me on my journey of exploration and recovery (as opposed to diagnosing me and issuing instructions and medication based on a diagnostic model), the survivors who are now speaking freely, in large numbers, and for the first time are able to reveal the full extent of their trauma are bringing the beginnings of healing to Society.

Those who have successfully ‘adjusted’ to the norms of our Society will find this process threatening, for it dislodges their concepts of identity just as those who exercise abusive power will find it threatening, though for quite different reasons: they do not wish to let go of their power and many will do ANYTHING to retain that power. That is the nature of the sociopath, the psychopath.

In truth, the psychopath and sociopath ARE demons; physical and human, if not humane. And they know it serves them to craft a scary monster, to shift the goal posts, the burden of responsibility away from themselves onto an imaginary entity.

They know too that those who have yet to meet their own 'demons' and metabolise them will all too easily fall prey to the illusion. This is the very basis for Organised Power and Organised Religion.

"There is no Satan, no such solitary force,

just old wounds that are hidden, protected and projected of course

The choice is yours, the choice is mine

we live by out choices all the time."

From my song "There is no Evil"

http://www.corneilius.net/acousticmusic/mp3/noevilnoguru.mp3

Kindest regards 

Corneilius 

Do what you love, it's your gift to universe