Irish Childline reports 2,300 contacts per day

Irish Child Line, a charity that receives calls from distressed children, released it's figures for 2010, and quotes an average of 2,300 calls or messages per day, from children all over Ireland.

This was reported in Irish Media. It's meaning, however, has not been addressed as of yet.

I wrote the following letter to Irish Media to suggest that it must be addressed.

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To The Editor,

The release of the child-line figures demonstrates, once again, that there are endemic, long term problems within Irish Society which reveal an almost cultural lack of empathy, for children, for the vulnerable, and for the distressed.

The manner in which successive Irish Governments have indemnified both itself, as The State, and the Church, with regard to the horrific abuses perpetrated within State and Church Institutions, and outside, demonstrates that lack of empathy.

The North Cork Ten case and the DPP's unwillingness to prosecute demonstrates that lack of empathy. Happily, the campaign by 'ordinary Irish Citizens' to demand that the DPP prosecute demonstrates that there are some people in Ireland whose empathy is intact.

The Christy Smith case demonstrates yet again a systemic lack of empathy in many State Institutions.

Rachel Peavoy's death, earlier this year, and the inquest into her death, and it's 'findings', reveals this systemic, institutional lack of empathy.

The 'rape' jokes by 4 Corrib Bay Shell Gardai last month, and the mistreatment of the people of Corrib Bay that has continued for so many years, reveals that lack of empathy.

The willingness of the Irish Government to force the Irish People to pay the Debts of the Gambling Bankers shows that lack of empathy.

There are people all over Ireland who will tell you, were you to give them an ear, that the beatings and humiliation they experienced in school did not, and does not strengthen their character.

And there are those who will tell you, that yes, 'it made a man of me', there are people in positions of Power who will say that their school experience of 40 years ago was character forming, and who will find it difficult to empathise with those whose experience was traumatic.

Only when honesty and empathy prevails in all institutions of Power, and thus flows forth throughout Irish Society, and is met by the same at the grass roots, will the Irish People be in a position to provide for their children a future that is decent, abundant, balanced and above all psychologically healthy.

It's a worthy cause, indeed it's the only worthy cause.

Kindest regards

Corneilius Crowley

London

The facts are that the vast majority of abused children never tall anyone, and it is often only in adult life that they reveal what they have been through, after years of trying to just live day by day, tormented by the trauma, the shame, the self-blame .... often it is only when things have broken down to such an extent that the adult Survivor seeks 'professional help' which leads to their disclosure.

What makes it more difficult,if it wasn't already intensely difficult, for Survivors is this sense of isolation, of failure, of being judged by others,that comes from not 'performing' according to Societies messages - jobs, money, goods etc etc.....

There's also the fact that Childline says that 1/3rd of the calls went unanswered. We need more data on this. Childline should provide that data to those who can properly analyse it.

The figures will not go down until there is 100% honesty, and with that empathy, for survivors and also an understanding of the dynamics of intergenerational trauma patterning amongst the general population. This is what I am working for.

My first concern is always with the survivors, and that requires that the general population gain more understanding of the dynamics of abuse, of survival, so that the understand when Survivors 'present' symptoms that they must not judge the survivor..... when that is in place, and is deepening with Society at large, then we can deal with the full implications for those Institutions and for those who abuse children, whatever the manner or form that abuse takes.

I fear that too much attention is focussed on the institutions, be it to confront them or to protect them, and that the first duty is to make safe those who have been harmed.... I also feel strongly that there are some 'activists' whose work on the face of it appears to support Survivors, yet in reality fails to address the points I have made above, and if anything polarises the issue, driving people away from a deeper comprehension.

This worries me muchly. That is not to say that the confrontation must not proceed, but that it needs to be fully complemented by that which makes safe the survivors. It is not OK to me, at least, that Survivors are suffering whilst the arguments rage back and forth. Some will die, often by their own hand, out of sheer frustration and desperation ....

And many more will continue to live fragmented, broken, pain filled lives and this grieves me deeply.

I am in my self reasonably happy, and can to a certain degree, bear this grief, I refuse to shut myself off from it. It's there, it's real and it informs my work as much as my anger and my love....

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

DIRT : The Movie. A Nurturant Society...

Previously I have written a piece on the Nurturant Society, and coined the word THRIVIVAL. I have used this word in a few essays to describe a reality that I see in nature all the time. I have used it to make a distinction between the sense of 'survival' which is less than abundant, is fear based and generates unnecessary need to over control things that actually reduces the likelihood of Thriving.

A Nurturant Society is the emergent Society that by it's action nurtures life for all life, that by it's action takes an equal part in the biology of life, that by it's action enjoys the life it expresses and returns the gifts that life has bestowed upon it. Thrivival is the state of such a Society.

The movie DIRT is a stunning documentary, a profoundly nurturing expression of what is truly possible, what is within our ability to bring into being. It's about the living soil and our relationship to that living soil. It's not an ideological movie. It's a natural logic movie.

Watch it. It's amazing. See the effect working with plants and soil has on incarcerated people. See the rapidity with which soil and humans can remediate damaged lands.

DIRT : THE MOVIE

Get yer hands in the soil and help plants do what they love doing, gifting you and universe in the process.

We REALLY NEED to focus on the creation of a Nurturant Society, at every level of our Culture, starting with our own lives, and extending outwards into our communities, and we need to look at EVERY process and activity we are engaged in and really understand that if it is NOT Nurturing more life for all life, then it HAS TO GO!

It really is THAT SIMPLE. We are either nurturing life or we are not. And when we look at what we do, we have to take into consideration ALL the outcomes..... no 'externalisation' of costs. No justifying adverse 'collateral' damage because of one or two perceived benefits.

And we need to start NOW!

ALL LIFE MATTERS. There exists a viewpoint that is an expression of resignation, extreme low self esteem and profound selfishness.

It runs a bit like this :

"Nothing really matters, at the end of the day. We all live for a bit, have a few good times then die."

When we die, the materials our bodies are made of are released back to feed more life.

We give back what we have been given as a gift to those who have yet to come. We do this, and we gift life. That is the bare minimum.

It's a choice as to whether or not we take action in our day to day life to bring that gift or not, before we die and release the materials of our bodies.

Your materials will be released whether or not you like it or get it. That much is assured. Death assures us all of that.

What is not assured, and what is down to OUR CHOICE, is whether or not our actions nurture more life for all life and return the gift. It's your choice, it's my choice and yet I ask that each of us bears in mind that our choice has an affect on others, and if you chose not to, if I chose not to, then we deprive others yet to come of their access to that gift, by defaulting on the action possible in our lives.

I am not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. The Dominant Society is a pretty grim place to have been born into, and I wouldn't say to anyone DO NOT ENJOY BEING ALIVE.

I am just pointing out the REALITY. And the possibility.

When I confront the Church, the Government, the Corporations I do it to bring that gift through, and not to get revenge or to become the judge and punisher. That's not saying that I intend to let those Institutions of the hook, or that I give them an excuse or that I am going to be all soft and fluffy. It's to make it abundantly clear where I stand and what I intend. I will not back down, and neither should you!

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Easter Eggs are not enough!

The expectations of every child

 

The expectations of every child
To be held in love, all the time
To know safety with every touch
These are the ways we need, it's not so much...

These are the gifts,that life on earth is meant to bring

The expectations of every child,
Acceptance, gentle guidance with a smile,
Honest answers to their questions of life,
Space to grow, fully assured and bright.

The expectations of every child,
To find a safe place to learn in good time
So that the child knows and trusts the heart
Then grows the child in confidence, that is the art..

The expectation of every child,
To know the family, to feel the line
Of ancient stories, and harmonies
The child is born to know that she is free.

The expectation of every child,
To be respected all the time,
To be chosen with the highest love,
So honour the child you hold, that will be enough.....

These are the gifts that life on earth is meant to bring
Do you bring the gifts? Do we bring the gifts?

-

Here's the video

You can download this song for free (all my recordings are open source, creative commons licensed) from my Reverbnation Music Page....

I wrote this song about 21 years ago, and it is the basis of all my work since that time. It was inspired by John Holt, Alice Miller, Carl Rogers and by my daughter and her mother, and by Nurturant Mothering in and of itself. 

It arose out of my own adverse childhood experience and the realisation, late in life, that that experience was entirely avoidable, and is one that I and many others have suffered needlessly. 

It also is true to say that the future of 'Civilised Humanity' lies in the extent to which we, as indivduals and as a society, are willing to act and behave and respond with Empathy towarda our children, towards all children, and with that, a degree of self-empathy, a willingness to honestly  reflect on the realities of our own childhoods is a necessary, though perhaps uncomfortable discipline.

I urge all who read my work to spread this insight. There is much work to be done, and we can have a lot fo fun doing it!

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Cardinal Sean Brady, Father Brendan Smyth and the Royal Wedding!

To the Editor,

Cardinal Sean Brady, the Irish Primate, has been officially invited to attend the wedding of Prince William Windsor and Kate Midleton as an honoured geust.

Cardinal Sean Brady was one of three priests who failed to report incidents of brutal sex abuse on children, by Fr Brendan Smyth, to Civil Authorities.

The victims, young catholic boys in their teens at the time of the signing, met with the then Fr Brady in 1975, and were manipulated into signing an oath of silence, on pain of excommunication.

Brendan Smyth went on to assault and harm many, many more children. His abuse was permitted by the Church for 40 years.

He could have been stopped; instead, he was protected by the Church Hierarchy. Brady was following orders.

It's accepted that that was not the only time that Cardinal Brady engaged in such action. The Murphy report said as much.

Brady claimed he was 'too ill' to attend the Murphy Inquiry for questioning. How convenient! How crass! How cruel!

There will be vociferous, angry and necessary protests, by the many Irish Survivors living in Britain, if this invitation is not revoked.

If he does attend, then he must be arrested for crimes against humanity and extradited to The Hague, to appear before the International Criminal Court.

This invitation of this criminal and unrepentant cleric, who has committed crimes against humanity, by his direct involvement in the cover-up of many cases of pedophilia and brutality, in the protection of criminal pedophiles, over many decades, besmirches the Royal Wedding, wounds survivors and sends a clear message that his behaviour is acceptable to the British Monarchy, and the British Establishment.

Sincerley

Corneilius Crowley (A Survivor)
London


Sent today to all British and Irish Mainstream Newspapers

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

A Nurturant Society

A Nurturant Society

In considering the fundamentals of a Nurturant Society, one has to define the ground upon which one stands.

If that is not taken in hand, and clearly defined, then it is inevitable that the ‘revolution’, as many are calling it, by positing an ‘alternative way’ to the status quo or by adopting a position of resistance to that status quo, is to a greater extent defined within the frame of reference of the status quo. It is a response to something : that something defines the response. It is a reaction.

Thus it was with Marx, and with many others. They did not see the trap they laid for themselves by talking in terms of production, ownership, and control, which are the terms and structural processes that the oppressive Society uses to exert it's power over people and the habitat. Transferring those to the workers does not change the nature of the Society as radically as people believed, it still permits the current dominant systemic mindset of control of nature as a resource to exploit. Thus the fundamental dynamic and psyche of Power remains, with a merely a change in the Actors and their behaviour towards each other within that set of structural processes. Kinder to one another,  yet damaging to the environment, the shared habitat.

And of course, it has to be said, Marx was a man of his times, and lacked the data we have today about neuroscience, endocrinology, psychological and evolutionary development and the reality of natural empathy. A lack accurate information can lead to the invention of theory out of rudimentary thinking that is without the appropriate evidence. Marx was rightly concerned with human suffering that he knew could be avoided. 

The Nurturant Society avoids that predicament by defining itself on it’s own clear terms.

The Nurturant Society is a fundamentally simple concept.

To Nurture, as a biological process, and as in human action, is to improve the conditions of the habitat or the environment within which life occurs. This process can be observed by anyone who is careful and honest in their explorations of nature. Henry David Thoreau made this abundantly clear in his work during the 1800s, as did Rudloph Steiner (Biodynamics) and Bill Mollison (Permaculture). These three are sequential in that their lives began as one ended and they form one example of continuous thread of exploration of nature that is free of the lens of what I call Empire Logic, the 'struggle for survival' etc etc. All these people and others who were and  their contemporaries looked beyond the Herbert Spenser doctrine of struggle for survival, of civilisation as the apex of natural biological evolution.

To Nurture is to provide both space and materials for life to flourish.

To Parent? Perhaps. However, the word Parent is itself troublesome, for it contains meanings that are to do with control. Control always inhibits emergence. Parental Control implies a mistrust of the child. Control is often a question of fear.

The etymology of Parent.

Pare

"to trim by cutting close," early 14c., from O.Fr. parer "arrange, prepare, trim," from L. parare "make ready," related to parere "produce, bring forth, give birth to,"

Thus Parenting has to be redefined or qualified. Natural Parenting or Nurturant Parenting better describes this new paradigm.

Nurturant Parenting then, is fundamentally about facilitating the emergent, about recognising the innate desire and ability of the natural child to learn, to master his or her self, to develop life skills, to be able to meet his or her own needs, and with that the needs of others, as an empathically alive human being, in essence to contribute to his or her family, community, society environment such that all may thrive.

All of which is diametrically opposed to the concept and awareness of the consumer, whose concern lies solely with consumption.*

And, because human life does not occur in a vacuum, but rather takes place in a continuum, in a non-linear web of activity that is typified by connection and interdependency, it follows that when life is nurtured, it is nurtured for all life.

Thus Natural Parenting is an activity that is not exclusive to the biological parents, but includes the entire community. "It takes a village to raise a child." And a forest. No community exists independent of the habitat.

Everything is food. There is no waste.

This can only be achieved by each element with the biological process web being it’s true self, having it’s own needs met. It is therefore a question of meeting inherent needs. Nature is a web of intersecting needs being met. Algae make oxygen. Bacteria eat all kinds of materials and transform them into their bodies, which are eaten. They also produced 'waste' which is not waste, but is in reality food. Plants take in Carbon Dioxide and release Oxygen. Bacteria in the plants take in Zinc, and other trace elements and create new chemicals the plants need. Animals breathe oxygen and eat plants. And so it goes.

This - being one's true self - is not a limitation, because in all living organisms we see the same responsive ability, the ability to learn, which has been called ‘adaptation’,  that is foundational to the maintenance of the dynamic equilibrium of the processes of life. That responsive ability is biological empathy in action.

THRIVIVAL

What we see in Nurturant Biology is an outcome that can best be described by the new word, Thrivival.

Thrivival goes beyond survival**.

Thriving, in relation to the human being, is that positive sense of well being that is inherent in the process of growth. Thriving, for the human being and for all mammals, originates in utero, and extends throughout life. Thriving applies to the individual, the family, the community, the society and to the environment from which all emerge.

Because this is a simple paradigm, and because it is an empathic paradigm, it will find expression in diverse ways, mirroring the diversity of the environment, the habitat, from micro to macro, leading to diversity in human expression of community and society.

The Nurturant Society is complex, and yet it is not at all complicated. This is the nature of nurturant empathy. The precise solutions emerge out of the experiential of each community.

*The consumer eats and does not seek to nurture anyone other than him or herself; for his or her eating is the penultimate act in the receipt of a service that the consumer has paid for, and having paid for it, the consumer does not trouble him or herself with the conditions within which the food was produced, or what happens to the by-products, but merely the presence of the food on the plate, it's appearance and taste, and other similar immediate considerations and the of course the price he or she has paid for the meal to be consumed. Quite often the consumer has no concept of what it takes to produce that end product on the plate. This because the human being, the citizen consumer, unlike every other living organism, is cut off from the source and the processes that create the food. Likewise the consumer is not concerned with what happens to that which is not eaten. It is considered waste, not food.

The 'consumer' is a dehumanising term which reduces each unique human being to an object to be crafted and then manipulated for profit. And for Power.

**Survival carries with it the sense of threat, the sense of scarcity. Whilst there exists the possibility of being eaten, for each individual, that does not in and of itself threaten any entire species, and what we see is that no predator nor herbivore will consume the entirety of that species which it eats.

Both prey and predator thrive in the natural state. The are interdependent, mutually nurturant. The struggle for survival is in fact a projection of the dynamic of fear that the Hierarchical, non-empathic Society feels, generates and promotes.

This is due to a fundamental undermining of natural empathy, which leads to disconnection, and with that insecurity arises, and the need to control follows and it is from this that violence flows.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe