Loss of Self-Empathy and the Urge to Power.

The disruption of the naturally mandated child-mother bonding process sets up a chain of events, leading to emergent violence.

The flow is as follows : if the child is not related to in ways that nurture self-empathy, then the development of a loss of empathy occurs.

With that loss, a sense of disconnection is felt and with that comes fear.

The fear leads directly to a perceived need to control others and to control the environment.

As all natural organisms are autonomous, self directing growing beings so too they will resist, to one degree or another, efforts to control them.

That resistance generates violence to impose or retain that control.

In human family or society, if this pattern starts, and is not resolved, then each successive generation will impose that control, and their children too will grow up in an environment that they will 'adapt' to the situation, internalising that psychological need to control.

What baby would not be angry at not being met with the experientials our biology has mandated? Think of the child left to cry himself to sleep in another room, to scream and cry until exhaustion brings sleep. Is this not a common practice in our culture? What of the resignation, the suppression of that rage, the loss of self empathy which ensues from that suppression which is the outcome of such a practice?

That need to control then gets transmitted into the structure of that family or society and over time becomes codified, normalised, embedded.......

Not all children respond or react to the situation in the same way, thus variations arise in the need to control and the levels of violence used to retain control will emerge, with some retaining their basic empathy.

Some will resist the controls. They will be subject to the efforts of others, by violence or by other means, to control them. This resistance leads directly to violence on the part of the controlling parties, because the fear is that if they are not controlled at all costs, then the safety of the controllers is at risk. This is of course unnecessary.

If the issue of empathy is resolved, nurturant co-operation is the natural outcome. We are at our happiest when we meet each others genuine living needs.

http://dwylcorneilius.blogspot.com/2011/06/empathy-and-fear-based-control.html

http://www.birthpsychology.com

http://www.naturalchild.org

http://www.alice-miller.com

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Defending the Indefensible : the Confessional Secrecy

http://examiner.ie/opinion/letters/seal-of-confession-must-not-be-broken-161323.html

A letter published in the Examiner, an Irish broadsheet, on 18th July, the weekend after the publishing of the Cloyne Report, which detailed the devious, manipulative and malign behaviour of  Irish Clerical Hierarchy in their 'response' to the 'abuse scandal', detailing the most appalling behaviour at the highest levels, from 1996 to 2008, in which the writer wrote :

"AS the father of a family and as a normal human being I am as appalled as anybody else at the abuse of minors by those in positions of authority, which includes (but is by no means most prevalent among) members of the Catholic clergy.

But by what insanity does the Fine Gael/Labour coalition think it can legislate to prosecute priests who do keep inviolate the unbreakable seal of the confessional?

No doctor or lawyer or other person in a position of confidence can ever be compelled to do this.

It is a very painful thing for them when they hear certain things in their professional capacity, but only a tiny dose of maturity is needed to realise that confidentiality must be respected in these special cases for the greater good of society.

And a priest especially has vowed to protect the confessional seal with his life blood — as so many have testified down the ages.

In the case of a guilty party confessing, the normal procedure would be to withhold absolution until the culprit has given himself up to the secular authorities — just as with certain other very serious sins. Shame on the perpetrators of this disgraceful opportunistic suggestion.

Yours etc....

This is my response to that letter :

Micheál Ó Fearghail, Glanmire in a letter to the Examiner 18th July 2011 wrote, defending the sacred nature of the confessional, that :

"In the case of a guilty party confessing, the normal procedure would be to withhold absolution until the culprit has given himself up to the secular authorities — just as with certain other very serious sins."

Can he, or anyone else for that matter, furnish substantiated evidence that this is the normal procedure of a priest hearing the confession of another priest, nun, bishop or any other clergy confessing to serious crimes?

Can he say that a priest, upon hearing such a confession, would urge such action, that is for the perpetrator to hand him or herself over to the civil authorities, given that the Pope and others in authority have prohibited such disclosures without their consent, with the sanction of ex-communication for any priest who might break that prohibition, in a fit of ill advised decency?

If a priest, or any person, who has sexually assaulted a child, wishes to confess, ought that person themselves, if they feel true remorse for what they have done, not be the one's to approach the civil authorities, and then seek a confession under Christian 'ethics'?

Has this ever happened?

Shame on Micheál Ó Fearghail, for writing "Shame on the perpetrators of this disgraceful opportunistic suggestion."

Shame on the writer for making assumptions such as he does, when we know that worldwide, the numbers of children grievously harmed, whether it be in Aboriginal Boarding Schools (Canada, USA, Australia, Africa) or European 'care' Institutions, Magdalene Laundries, Orphanages etc... can be counted in their hundreds of thousands...

When we know, even still, that the hierarchy of the Catholic Church is protecting known abusers, obstructing justice and more, merely to protect it's 'image'?

Shame! A shame that tarnishes the name of Christ, which it would appear is of less importance than the Power and Status of the Institutional Church, and certainly of less value than the lives of so many children, and the lives of so many survivors. 


-------------------


Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Sinead, The Vatican and Power.

Sinead O'Connor blasted away with all guns blazing in the Irish Independent this week, in an opinion piece titled "We must destroy this nest of Devils in the Vatican, for Christs sake" where she writes "Our situation as Catholics now is that we can plainly see our church has been hijacked by liars."

The truth has always been there for those with open eyes to see. It has always been there for those who fell under the control of those damaged, socio-pathological power mongers, be they wee children or adults, be they Irish or Aboriginal. Our experience told us everything.

The history of with-hunting, king-making, land grabbing, of crusades and conquistadors, of colonisers and Inquisitors cannot be erased, nor can it be forgiven, at least not by those who did not survive, not by those who survived and have been so dreadfully 'responded' to, time and time again.

That dysfunctional, manipulative pattern of behaviour is revealed in some detail in the Cloyne Report, as it has been by the many, many other reports from around the Earth. What is perhaps 'new' is that finally one Government has recognised and accepted the truth, and is now committed to a course of action that ought to have been taken a long time ago.

I accept a persons 'faith' in as much as it is their personal choice. If an adult makes a rational choice to adopt the teachings of one or other sages, be it via writings or having heard the word, so be it. That's a personal matter.

None can, however, accept 'faith' as a mask, behind which the urge to power is hidden.

None can accept faith, if it seeks to impose itself on others, especially if it seeks to 'save' the world by that imposition - a position of ruthless arrogance.

None can claim faith if it has been indoctrinated into them as a defenceless child, for that is not faith but the result of adverse conditioning designed to instumentalise the child's body and mind as an adjunct to the imposers designs.

Ireland has a sad history, like many other lands, of the imposition of rule by force.

It is time to recognise the true nature of all entities which enable such use of force, whatever their provenance, and to cast them out, to reject them outright as disinheritors of the natural, the empathic and the nurturant.

This requires prison sentences, civil litigation, and a permanent severing of all ties between the Governance of People by the people's will, and all Religious Structures.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Alcoholism, Institutional Abuse and The Cloyne Report

A Chara,

The Examiner, The Irish Independent and other media in Ireland, has reported on the increase in deaths involving alcohol.

I studied the dynamics of Alcoholism many, many years ago, and the evidence suggests strongly that rather than it being a 'disease' or the FAULT of the alcoholic, it is a behaviour pattern that emerges in communities where feelings and experiences are not allowed to be fully expressed, where pain is suppressed and it's very much about masking subconscious, hidden or 'unwanted' feelings.

What was also clear from those studies was that children who grow up in an Alcoholic home environment also learn to mask certain feelings, and tend NOT to become Alcoholics BECAUSE they have seen it, yet DO still mask their feelings, and adopt other strategies to maintain that mask. And what these studies also showed was that there was a tendency or a trend whereby the NEXT generation, who hadn't seen the Alcoholic behaviour would be likely to use alcohol to mask pain and feelings....

You see, the child grows up in the psychological milieu of his or her parents and his or her social structures and has to 'adapt' in order to 'fit in'. That adapting process most often means that certain key needs are not met, that many feelings are not expressed, and that the pain of not being treated with empathy is masked by : consumerism,adverse  nationalism, religiosity and 'addictions' : behaviours that are learned.

Consider this. The Irish History of the last 200 years includes the FAMINE, two world wars and a civil war, and intense poverty.

The vast majority of the people who went through these TRAUMA were able to resolve those painful experiences ... and so the patterns of intergenerational dysfunction continued, as they will always do, until they are recognised and dealt with, with empathy, with nurturant intent, with grace....


I wrote some years ago about the need for empathy, for honesty, for the placing of the needs of all our children at the very centre of Society such that then we may say : Our Society is truly decent.


The Cloyne Report is published today, and we can say that the behaviour of the Churches and Orders, and the Government and HSE thus far has left so much undone that needs to be done with regard to the honest appraisal of the realities.


Let us not waste any more time. There is work to be done, and our children's children will thank us for it, let alone the relief it will provide to living survivors and their families.

Kindest Regards

Corneilius Crowley

London

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Thrirteen Points.... the hidden dangers of belief systems...

Thirteen signs that one has replaced what one has been indoctrinated with, with other similar 'qualities', all of which are unconscious internalisations of the messages of Power and the loss of self empathy..... well, 13 signs I experienced.... others might have experienced or may well experience more or less...

This is what I went through when I first 'ditched' Christianity - I took the same psychological memes (or hidden woundings), and applied them in different ways...

1. I looked outside of myself for a saviour.

2. I still felt shame at my own body, and it's functioning...

3. I still bullied my own children 'for their own good'.

4. I still feared some nebulous EVIL FORCE.

5. I still feared Nature

6. I still acted to protect myself from the fear based illusion that my after life might be in a hell like reality... I feared for my soul.

7. I still saw the world in a dualistic, simplistic way.

8. I still feared the Apocalypse.

9. I still bowed to Guru's and imagined Gods.

10. I still had difficulty enjoying myself, as myself.

11. I still lacked self empathy, for myself as an adult and for myself as a child.

12. I still feared Women.

13. I still judged myself unworthy of love.

I also spent many years replacing one set of BELIEFS with another set of BELIEFS, all the time lacking self empathy, trying to be 'good', avoiding the deeper layers of my conditioned self....

Quite a lot of the so called 'New Age' and many other belief replacements are made up of this.... the Emperor is wearing different style of clothing, yet remains in charge...

All this baloney 'spiritual enlightenment', when all that is really required is self empathy, for the here and now .... not some imaginary future.....

Does a tree need spiritual enlightenment?

Is a tree any less a child of nature than a human being?

There's so much of the New Age that is really the class room psychology in other forms. Tests, grades, approval..... yuk!

Be careful out there and avoid belief.... be with what you KNOW and have tested in some depth.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

The Loss of Self Empathy and the Urge To Power.

The disruption of the naturally mandated child-mother bonding process sets up a chain of events, leading to emergent violence.

The flow is as follows : if the child is not related to in ways that nurture self-empathy, then the development of a loss of empathy occurs.

With that loss, a sense of disconnection is felt and with that comes fear.

The fear leads directly to a perceived need to control others and to control the environment.

As all natural organisms are autonomous, self directing growing beings so too they will resist, to one degree or another, efforts to control them.

That resistance generates violence to impose or retain that control.

In human family or society, if this pattern starts, and is not resolved, then each successive generation will impose that control, and their children too will grow up in an environment that they will 'adapt' to the situation, internalising that psychological need to control.

What baby would not be angry at not being met with the experientials our biology has mandated? Think of the child left to cry himself to sleep in another room, to scream and cry until exhaustion brings sleep. Is this not a common practice in our culture? What of the resignation, the suppression of that rage, the loss of self empathy which ensues from that suppression which is the outcome of such a practice?

That need to control then gets transmitted into the structure of that family or society and over time becomes codified, normalised, embedded.......

Not all children respond or react to the situation in the same way, thus variations arise in the need to control and the levels of violence used to retain control will emerge, with some retaining their basic empathy.

Some will resist the controls. They will be subject to the efforts of others, by violence or by other means, to control them. This resistance leads directly to violence on the part of the controlling parties, because the fear is that if they are not controlled at all costs, then the safety of the controllers is at risk. This is of course unnecessary.

If the issue of empathy is resolved, nurturant co-operation is the natural outcome. We are at our happiest when we meet each others genuine living needs.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe