Last week I had a vision, a visual articulation of the core concepts I have been working through, in some detail, over the past year or so. These ideas have been part of my life since 1986, when an elder sister gave me a book entitled "The Roots of Violence : For Your Own Good" written by Alice Miller.
Up to that point in my life I was quite unaware of what my traumatised 'upbringing' really meant.
Upon reading the book, I was reassured and encouraged by it's core thesis and even though I had barely the faintest glimmering of the work I was to undertake, the various paths I would follow, some frustratingly nebulous, some utterly pointless, some toxic, some fruitfully, through all parts of the process of reclaiming myself, of reuniting little Corneilius with his essence in such a manner as to allow the process of natural healthy maturation to occur, so that big Corneilius could really be.
A process that is still underway.
In this excellent book, Alice Miller demonstrates and articulates the painful yet undeniable truth, that children are exploited by adults for ideological, religious, commercial, psychological and emotional purposes and that there remains a societal taboo against facing this truth. The parents are constantly let off the hook, as are the governments, the corporations, the leaders. The victims must bear the trauma.
In this lies the basis for war, greed, insecurity and cruelty that is so prevalent in our adult 'civilised' world.
The wounded child becomes the wounding adult. It is that simple. And though it ranges from subtle to gross, from Hitlers monstrous acts facilitated by millions of complicit adults to nagging, clinging parents, and nagging, demanding children at the supermarket check-out, the effect of the totality of this spectrum is the pretty much the same at both ends.
Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Poverty.
Celebrity, Consumerism, Corrupt Politicians, Profit.
They are one and the same.
And so it goes that we create the future in how we live with and treat our children.
My Muse in the vision is the Statue of Liberty, She is the Statue of Blind Justice, and She does not stand proud and haughty with a flaming torch and a book, nor does She hold a sword and scales, She is standing over the actions and behaviours of men and women alike, and with her hands on her hips, She is angry, She is assertive and aggressive, She is shouting :
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING TO THE CHILDREN?!!"
Because SHE CARES for the children above all, she is the Children's Advocate, their Enlightened Witness and her fury is just, it is natural and it is healing.
She seeks to STOP THE HARM, to STOP THE HARM NOW! She seeks to forever break the cycle of abuse, of exploitation more than she seeks to punish.
That does not mean she will let the exploiter, the abuser off the hook. She is the enlightened witness.
Her unconditional love, her advocacy requires a full accounting and she demands remorse, and if remorse is not reached for, then she commands that the exploiter steps away from the child. Immediately.
"Stop!" She cries.
And what Humanity needs right now, what so many of our children, billions of children, need right now is a few hundred million women and a few hundred million men to be that muse, to be that advocate and enlightened witness, to be that fierce mother tiger and her stout, sturdy companion.
Women like Alice Miller, Helen Caldicott are my role models, my inspiration. Men like Carl Rogers, Paolo Friere are my role models, my inspiration. There are many more.
Some are my friends, who are this very day, working through their own childhood, whilst learning to listen to, and to nurture their own children. Many are of course unknown to me. Perhaps they are known to you. Perhaps you are one of them.
They exist, in their millions, across all societies. These are the heroes who will do more to assure a healthy, humane, sane and nurturing future for all children, for all of the time.
Up to that point in my life I was quite unaware of what my traumatised 'upbringing' really meant.
Upon reading the book, I was reassured and encouraged by it's core thesis and even though I had barely the faintest glimmering of the work I was to undertake, the various paths I would follow, some frustratingly nebulous, some utterly pointless, some toxic, some fruitfully, through all parts of the process of reclaiming myself, of reuniting little Corneilius with his essence in such a manner as to allow the process of natural healthy maturation to occur, so that big Corneilius could really be.
A process that is still underway.
In this excellent book, Alice Miller demonstrates and articulates the painful yet undeniable truth, that children are exploited by adults for ideological, religious, commercial, psychological and emotional purposes and that there remains a societal taboo against facing this truth. The parents are constantly let off the hook, as are the governments, the corporations, the leaders. The victims must bear the trauma.
In this lies the basis for war, greed, insecurity and cruelty that is so prevalent in our adult 'civilised' world.
The wounded child becomes the wounding adult. It is that simple. And though it ranges from subtle to gross, from Hitlers monstrous acts facilitated by millions of complicit adults to nagging, clinging parents, and nagging, demanding children at the supermarket check-out, the effect of the totality of this spectrum is the pretty much the same at both ends.
Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Poverty.
Celebrity, Consumerism, Corrupt Politicians, Profit.
They are one and the same.
And so it goes that we create the future in how we live with and treat our children.
My Muse in the vision is the Statue of Liberty, She is the Statue of Blind Justice, and She does not stand proud and haughty with a flaming torch and a book, nor does She hold a sword and scales, She is standing over the actions and behaviours of men and women alike, and with her hands on her hips, She is angry, She is assertive and aggressive, She is shouting :
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING TO THE CHILDREN?!!"
Because SHE CARES for the children above all, she is the Children's Advocate, their Enlightened Witness and her fury is just, it is natural and it is healing.
She seeks to STOP THE HARM, to STOP THE HARM NOW! She seeks to forever break the cycle of abuse, of exploitation more than she seeks to punish.
That does not mean she will let the exploiter, the abuser off the hook. She is the enlightened witness.
Her unconditional love, her advocacy requires a full accounting and she demands remorse, and if remorse is not reached for, then she commands that the exploiter steps away from the child. Immediately.
"Stop!" She cries.
And what Humanity needs right now, what so many of our children, billions of children, need right now is a few hundred million women and a few hundred million men to be that muse, to be that advocate and enlightened witness, to be that fierce mother tiger and her stout, sturdy companion.
Women like Alice Miller, Helen Caldicott are my role models, my inspiration. Men like Carl Rogers, Paolo Friere are my role models, my inspiration. There are many more.
Some are my friends, who are this very day, working through their own childhood, whilst learning to listen to, and to nurture their own children. Many are of course unknown to me. Perhaps they are known to you. Perhaps you are one of them.
They exist, in their millions, across all societies. These are the heroes who will do more to assure a healthy, humane, sane and nurturing future for all children, for all of the time.
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