Hugo Chavez and Caring Empathy.

Caring Empathy is a biological mandate.

It's an expression of optimum biological health in a human being.

As such it predates any concepts of 'spirit', or 'ideology' or 'morality' as it exists within the womb, in every womb, just waiting for the correct NURTURING environment for it's fullest expression. This is what Science tells us.

In truth it is also one of the best long term thrivival strategies of all, for it enables co-operation, working WITH natural processes and our habitat. It is also the primary mode of human living for the majority of human beings over the past 250,000 years and before.

However if the child does not receive that nurturing, the adult he or she becomes will build a societal structure lacking in caring empathy, which will generate a cycle of breaking with the nurturant modality of human living.

Which is where we are today. We CAN break that cycle, and we CAN return to our basic biological mandate, without 'going back to caves' or even 'living in mud huts'.

It's a question of choice, of accurate information and ultimately of resistance to abusive power conditioning.

The choice is ours.

Hugo Chavez (RIP) clearley cared about the poorest people in Venuzuela, and understood their lives. He had to deal with a very, very difficult situation, he saw the pointlessness of violence (as in overthrowing by violence) by his own personal experience and worked for many years to build a base amongst the poorest people. By helping them to help themselves.

Unlike western politicians who have built a base amongst the very richest and the indebted middle classes (those with a mortgage).

Voting % amongst the poor have been falling year on year, all over Europe and the USA for that reason - that is a meaningful vote of no confidence. It is not apathy.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

The BBC and an Empathic Civilisation, from the cradle...

The roots of a genuinely humane and empathic Society are to be found in how we parent, as individuals, families, communities and Societies. Likewise the roots of a violent society.

PROTECT THE CHILDREN, NOT THE BBC

The psychology of any given family, community or society is both revealed and perpetuated in how that family, community or Society relates to and treats the children. Change that and you can change everything.

There is a spectrum of Societies ranging from egalitarian empathic to totalitarian violent, ans the best predictors of the evolution of either end of the spectrum, and everything in between is in how the natural child-mother bonding process mandated by our biology is either supported or undermined.

The biology and neuroscience of the natural development and utility of empathy as part and parcel of the human species adaptation to and position within a nurturing biosphere, one which incrementally increases environmental fecundity through the behaviour and action of all it's constituents, is quite well understood, yet Governments, Religions and Ideologies and many 'great Institutions' are consistently ignoring this data, because it is now amongst the greatest threats extant to their Power, their status and their image.

If the majority of people we aware of this data, and could both comprehend it and recognise aspects of it within themselves, based on their own visceral lived experiences, a primary source of information about the world, then Hierarchical Power which abuses those within it's 'mandate'  as we know it would soon fail, because inert compliance would not be forthcoming from such people.

The BBC has a role to play in this. Only we, the people, can create the pressure necessary for that role to be fulfilled in such manner that all our children's futures may be prepared for in ways that will guarantee the best possible outcomes for their lives.



Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

The Essence of the Jimmy Saville story

This is the essence of the Jimmy Saville/ The Pope/ David Cameron/ George Bush/Tony Blair/ Saddam Hussien etc etc etc story - those who use Power do so because they lack empathy, and respect - the basis of love.

They were not born thus, but became thus largely due to their earliest childhood traumas... this is not to excuse what they do - they are adults, and adults are always, always accountable for any harm they cause to others - it is to say that as a society, as individuals and parents we must address who we relate to children, how we treat them...

As Charlie Chaplin is reputed to have said : "You need power only when you want to do something harmful. Love is enough to get everything done."

We all will do to our own, to a greater or lessor extent, what was done to us if we cannot resolve what we went through in those earliest days and months. Few can recall what occurred because we learn by experience, by feeling and by emotion at depth. That learning is the primary relational information we have, and it is mostly unconscious.

This that leaves a majority of people open to direct manipulation .... which is essential for Power and Mass Media to operate..... without that, they would fall.

The psychology of any given society, community or family is both revealed and perpetuated in how the children are related to and treated. Change that and you can change everything.

It cannot be change by Government dictat, as all dictats run counter to this change towards empathy, it must be changed at the grass roots and grow from there...

We are at across roads, in that so much information is emerging about abuse, and about the natural development of empathy in early childhood..

With this information, which concurs with common sense we can move forwards.....

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

The Greatest gifts we can bequesth our children and descendants

It will take some time.

To change our culture, to bring empathy back to the core as the fundamental quality of our culture.

From the base, from how we frame ourselves as people, as parents and as children.

It WILL build as more people understand the importance of our earliest (and for most of us, forgotten) lived experiences.

The science and biology of empathy is now well established. The understand

ing of how human behaviour is mediated is likewise well established, though the mainstream still ignores it, as do most Power linked Religions.

Who can recall the DETAIL of their infancy - therein lies clues to our behaviours, our unconscious patterns and adaptations?

Vital information is there, about what we learned at the deepest pre-verbal visceral level, about Power, co-operation, empathy, sense of self.

Blaming parents for the ills of Society is a tactic that Institutional Society employs. To let itself off the hook.

That is not to say that abusive parents are to be let presented with excuses for behaviour that causes harm.

Rather it is a call to recognise that helping stressed parents understand their own infancy AND how the pressures imposed on them by work, economics, etc., increases the difficulties they face, is to recognise that helping parents to understand the natural emotional and psychic needs of their children and exploring how Institutional Society thwarts the meeting of those needs through war, indoctrination, poverty/concentration of wealth, media, marketing, coercive competitive schooling, hierarchical power will decrease the incidence of abuse for the majority of stressed parents.

Most parents do love their children, and many struggle with that love because the messages they received, that their grand parents and great grand parents and ancestors received about parenting were mediated by Institutional Society, and by Religion and by the adverse affects of unresolved trauma and there has never been a consistent effort to HELP parents resolve their own issues because those issues are often linked to how Institutional Power operates and thus affects so many lives.

Understanding that we all did not choose our families nor our society and have had to deal with any adverse affects by adapting, surviving, 'fitting in'. Understanding that intergenerational trauma patterns are a reality. Yet they are not written in stone.

We can break the cycle. We can recover our full humanity.

There is no greater gift to future generations.

There is no greater gift to oneself.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Mitt Romney : Cycles of abuse, Remorse or Denial, and Power

In The Rumpus, Steve Almond wrote a wonderfully clear piece about Mitt Romney, a Republican Presidential Candidate in the USA, concerning Romneys abusive behaviour (high school pranks) as a teenager. It is called THE WEEK IN GREED #6: To Behave Like the Fallen World

This piece is not so much about Romney as about the lack of empathy which we see all the time in those who assume or take power into their hands, be it national, international or at the local level or even within our own families, and the great difficulty the rest of us have when it comes to dealing with this, and the adverse outcomes for so many people of this dynamic.

Alice Miller wrote many books about how, if as  child, one is bullied or mistreated by parents, by Institutions, by society, or by circumstance and one is unable to resolve the situation, that suppression of one's true feelings becomes a mechanism of psychic survival, and this leaves the feelings anger, grief and sadness still alive, yet masked, buried, hidden from awareness.

These hidden, buried feelings then start to colour how one behaves towards oneself and others. The anger can be directed against oneself (shame, self loathing) or against the next generation, or against one's own children or against some 'other': the enemy 'created' by those in power as the receiver of these unresolved feelings, especially the anger and rage.

The problem is compounded by the fact that until these feelings are resolved, they remain alive within, and that even if a person acts out that anger, it will remain available for re-stimulation, again and again.

Alice Miller showed how this experience of mistreatment, abuse, trauma can become an intergenerational pattern, (the children of traumatised parents will grow up within that PTSD psychological environment, and whilst not all turn out with such adverse behaviours, many do, usually due to the lack of an ameliorating presence, what Miller calls an 'enlightened witness', certainly enough to populate systems of power and oppression, to fill the ranks of armies and paramilitary groups, often claiming 'it is for your own good') and others have written about Historical Trauma to show how any community that is traumatised can find itself traumatising it's own children, or each other, in a cycle of abuse and neglect.

This is akin to Lateral Violence, where violence erupts between those who have been subject to abuse from a more Powerful source which they cannot counter. Lateral Violence also occurs in hierarchical bureaucracies, in care systems.

Others have shown how Power can utilise that distressed behaviour to lay blame on those who show the signs of distress in addiction, obesity, psychological distress, inability to conform to 'standards' - people who are used as examples of how not to behave in conformity with 'a fallen world'.

And then there's the history of Power creating enemies to bind the people over whom Power has traction.

This is a very large part of what drives politics and power.

The writers own admission and remorse is the healing of all this, and is the kind of response required to lead towards ending the intergenerational re-traumatising cycles.

It is based on self-empathy.

For to feel the pain of another, beyond mere intellectual comprehension (compassion), is based on one's own sense of pain. And to feel remorse for hurt caused, is to understand that the others pain is real and visceral; it is a living sensation that pain has the same effect on the other as it does to oneself, and that one would not wish that upon any other any more than one would wish it upon oneself.

Expecting those who seek Power to have empathy is folly. Recognising this, it becomes essential to heal this dynamic in oneself as a personal praxis and study of power and oppression, and where it truly matters and where it can be extended is at the grass roots, in one's own life, one's own family and one's community.

If this can be done, then Power will find itself without the necessary accomplices, without which it cannot act.

From the comments on the piece (and elsewhere when such matters are raised), we can see that some people are yet willing to minimise what happened in Romney's case as being in the past, as being high school bullying, as being minor in comparison to the larger issues.

This is not the case. These events are linked in the lives of so many Power leaders, from the Kings of England, the Emperors of Rome, from Hitler to Stalin. And they are linked in the lives of the many people who populate bureaucracies of power.

The Vatican's 'response' to the testimony of courageous Survivors or clerical abuse is another example of this dynamic.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

The Corruption of The Curriculum.

I read this rather clear and yet short piece, on the 'corruption of the curriculum' and it's a damning indictment of Educational policy and tinkering with teaching practice, learning 'styles' and course content.

It states the following :

 "The school curriculum has been corrupted by political interference, according to a new report from independent think-tank Civitas. The traditional subject areas have been hi-jacked to promote fashionable causes such as gender awareness, the environment and anti-racism, while teachers are expected to help to achieve the government's social goals instead of imparting a body of academic knowledge to their students."

The article then outlines in concise language some of the 'corruptions' and their adverse effects.

The describe 'educational apartheid' (subjects excluded for some students based on income and class), 'history without dates' (without a coherent narrative), a policy of behavioural change that reduces

It's well worth a read, and I would like to put it in context, "join-the-dots" so to speak. To go further. To clarify.

After all, it was issued by Civitas, who are pretty much a right wing think tank, and why would I be impressed by what ever spewed forth from such an establishment. So I gotta put that right. I am not at all impressed, because the article itself is tinkering, and while it makes a critique that has some substance, it fails (as intended) to set things in context.

Has anyone mentioned to you that it is known, and proven, that State Education was initially instigated by intensive and long-term lobbying from business? 

"Perhaps the greatest of school's illusions is that the institution was launched by a group of kindly men and women who wanted to help the children of ordinary families—to level the playing field, so to speak."

It was of course,  presented as philanthropy,  the trojan horse of modern social engineering effected by the use of wealth, by stealth. And yes some people really did believe they were genuine seeking to help others and to help 'mankind'.

In fact there was close to a century of lobbying at  local, national and international levels of Industrial Society, and a huge, vast amount of money was spent over that time in this project to introduce Compulsion Schooling for all children.

"The real makers of modern schooling were leaders of the new American industrialist class, men like:

	Andrew Carnegie, the steel baron...
John D. Rockefeller, the duke of oil...
	Henry Ford, master of the assembly line which compounded steel and oil into a vehicular dynasty...
and J.P. Morgan, the king of capitalist finance...

The primary driver was of this project was the power and control of business, mostly the coal business, which with coal being the first fossil fuel, has a certain resonance with corporate power play within Governance by the petroleum industry. that we know today ... the coal and steel business was or became the central power in 'Civilisation' and one of the most aggressive in terms of 'expansion' (globalisation) and in terms of infiltrating Governance. The project to compel all children into education started in the 1750s.

And what has happened is that for a while it worked, as all training does, then some people started to see through the system, and found ways to use it as the basis for real learning outside the system, and began to resist the indoctrination and worse, actively self organise.

Power cannot allow that. For two reasons.

!. To many power players is dangerous if they are all equals.  There has to be manageable limits.

2. "If some 'poor' people learn to do what we are doing, we are out of business. So let us 'educate' them such that they cannot really learn, but can remember what they have been told, and they'll confuse memorising for learning. And we will set the psychological limit within the education SYSTEM, the systemic process does the work, not merely the curriculum."

The curriculum can be tinkered with, both by Power and by those Power allows, within limits and under their watchful eyes.

The article I quoted is complaining about the tinkering, and not the system. It prefers the 'traditional tinkering'. That's as far as it goes.

Not impressive.

The SYSTEM must  remain, even as it's façade is ever changing as either genuine empathic understanding emerges (they can't fool all the people all of the time) which Power will always seek to co-opt, by systematising whatever emerges organically, thus neutering any potential threat to Power it might represent.

Any right winger knows this. Well,the ones who dictate policy. Who ever they are..

This is partly why John Taylor Gatto says we must disestablish the SYSTEM, retaining the infrastructure and applying and modifying those infrastructure so that they can be used as places of self motivated learning, where the full person is allowed to grow, as such to truly meet the needs of the children, and indeed of all of us, as natural learners.

"After a long life, and thirty years in the public school trenches, I've concluded that genius is as common as dirt. We suppress our genius only because we haven't yet figured out how to manage a population of educated men and women. The solution, I think, is simple and glorious. Let them manage themselves."

Self motivated, self organised. Self Governing. Common Sense. Biologically mandated.

The article is a brief overview of a book, by Frank Furedi...

'The Corruption of the Curriculum' by Frank Furedi, Shirley Lawes, Michele Ledda, Chris McGovern, Simon Patterson, David Perks and Alex Standish is published by Civitas, 77 Great Peter Street, London SW1P 2EZ

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

I Don't Fit In!

I am working on a song entitled "I Don't Fit In!"

I don't fit in to a Society that accepts War as a tool of State Policy.

I don't fit into a Society that tells children what to think and applies sanctions against them for dissent against the prevailing ideology.

I don't fit in to a Society that segregates children and elders from the activities of Governance.

I don't fit in to a Society that accepts poverty as a necessary outcome of the concentration of wealth.

I don't fit in, and I am glad of it.

After many,  many years of self criticism because I felt that I did not fit in, and was therefore somehow inadequate because so many others seemed to 'fit in', and also because of the frequent criticism from many others, not least people in positions of Authority such as politicians, clergy, social workers, media pundits etc,  who use the term 'misfit' all too frequently,  which appeared to corroborate and support that self criticism, I can finally say with utter clarity that I know why I don't fit in, and that my knowledge is absolutely evidence based and accurate.

This is not to say that 'the world we live in is rotten or horrid' - it is to say that the Earth has at this time a Dominant human Culture that is abusive, and that the self criticism I and many others experience is an internalisation of the values of that Dominant Culture, and that that internalisation is part of the self policing that culture depends upon to maintain itself.

From my experience and perspective, I say that Earth is a biologically nurturant environment, where natural processes function to improve the conditions of life, for all life, in a manner that can best be described as responsive learning leading to precise adaptations to the variations in the environment.

Here is an essay by David Smail (short video of David Smail speaking about psychological distress and depression) entitled "The Experience of School: Empowerment or Oppression" that looks at this, and contains some valuable insights into the dynamics of 'not fitting in', the aggressive attitude directed towards those who 'don't fit in', by both friends and family, by co-workers, and by Institutions and how to counter it....

What kind of human being would even want to fit it to such a Society?

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Empathy and Power : the message of the Occupations

The primary function of commerce, the exchange of goods, is to provide a service, that is to say, to serve the needs of the community; it stands to reason that it must be profitable, in order to sustain the effort, however it becomes irrational when the profit function becomes primary, and the activity – the serving of the communities needs - merely a means to that end.

That irrationality is made obvious by the profits of the military industrial complex which accrue over the ruined bodies of those whose lives are utterly destroyed by wars, launched by the Corporate State.

That irrationality is made obvious by the profits of the various ‘care’ industries, which come at the cost of the realities for those who are being ‘cared’ for, by for profit companies whose primary legal duty is to their shareholders.

That irrationality is made clear by the degradation of soil nutrients associated with modern technological farming, which is the basis of the profits made by the multinational agri-corporations.

This irrationality is made obvious by the turning of the home into an investment portfolio.

No amount of Government Regulation can address these problems as long as Government is populated by people whose allegiance is with the Corporate Profit Centre Ideology.

This ideology re-enforces a lack of empathy at all levels of society and as direct result people are suffering, people are being subject to abuse and trauma, mainstream society ignores these peoples plight, and often blames them for their pain, their suffering, their situation.

The work-shy poor, the evil Muslims, the dirty hunter gatherers, the ignorant subsistence swidden farmer, the ADHD children, the lazy depressed, the disease distressed, the clash of ‘civilisations’, the bling crazy youth, the riotous binge drinkers, the irreligious atheists, the money grabbing survivors of Clerical abuse and State ‘care’, the ‘criminal’ underclass are all urged to change their ways, pull up their socks, join the economy and get a job. Then everything will be just fine.

All these moralistic judgements reveal a lack of empathy that ought to be considered criminal, because it is not that Cameron and his like really believe these judgements – they couldn’t possibly given the massive evidence to the contrary, it’s that they use those judgements to distract and to dissemble, they use these arguments intentionally as emotional propaganda to divide and conquer.

By limiting the discourse to technological arguments, - the arguments about how best to bail out the banks to keep the cash machines running for ordinary people - to ideological debates, - David Cameron’s notoriously moralistic  “proper parenting, ethics, proper values” jibe at the rioters - and by omitting the real pain and trauma from the discourse, and the real causes of distress, - historical trauma, poverty, inequality -  Government, and the media, are holding the fort on this situation.

The occupiers form a large swathe of people who FEEL the pain and error of this situation, and are all too easy for media to typify as good, but stupid. “What is your Strategy?” asks the media, knowing that there is no strategy. This is not about strategy. This is all about empathy.

Put the empathy back into Power and the strategy will emerge. The situations will change. And it is this more than anything that Corporate Power fears and resists at every turn.

The sense that we are one community, one people, diverse and in solidarity, that we CARE for each other as our most basic and fundamental naturally emergent quality.

This is the basis of how we want our society to operate.

1. It's not the role of Business to Govern, nor is it merely to make money. It is to service the genuine needs of the people.

2. It's not the role of a genuine Religion to Govern. It is the role of of a genuine Religion to give voice to a profound and empathic Spirituality in ways that builds bridges, founded upon our innate sense of connection, between peoples, between Society and Nature.

3. It's not the role of Genuine Open Media to propagandise. It is the role of Genuine Media to host an open and honest articulation of the issues the people face.

4. The Role of Democratic Governance is one of Nurturing the people so that the genuine needs of the people are being met, by inviting full participation in the decision making processes related to how our communities function.

5. The role of Genuine Policing is Protecting the weakest people from the most Powerful. To balance any Power Disparity that is adversely applied.

6. The role of Education is not Indoctrination, it is one of nurturing the innate talents of children by LISTENING to the children, by giving them responsibility for their own choices, and by supporting those choices with all the tools available today.

7. The PRIMARY role of Health Services is to PREVENT illness and disease, not merely to manage symptoms. This includes educating the people regards diet, empathic parenting and honest relationships. It also has a precious role in the assisting the fullest recovery from trauma.

These are the demands of the people, based on genuine truths.

At present that are not the assumed and actualised roles of the Institutions of Governance, of Business, of Health Services, of the Police, of Education, of Religion though all these Institutions CLAIM that this is their role. There current role is one of exercising POWER over people and maintaining the Power Disparity at all costs.

That is not to say there are not good, honest people within those Institutions. It is to say that the good people have been intentionally and actively dis-empowered.

The occupations are the peoples statement of this awareness.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Common Sense

Ignore the ideologists, the dogmatists, the fear mongering divisive 'theorists' - stick to pure humane common sense.
ABUSE DOES NOT END ABUSE, IT NEVER HAS, IT ISN'T WORKING AND IT WILL NEVER WORK!

Occupy! NO FEAR!

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Self Empathy and Power.

Having studied parenting for some time, I note that parenting occurs in a context determined by  very powerful Societal Influences which are masked - the Vatican harbours abusers to protect it's status (even though we KNOW that many tens of millions of children over the past 150 years have been abused) : States operate 'secret services' that utilise organised criminal networks, launch wars under false pretexts : Schools and education systems use reward/punishment as a coercive technique : Marketing uses psychological techniques known as 'aspirant' advertising which key in on known psychological insecurities in the target audience : all claim to be 'beneficial' and refuse to address the adverse affects of their behaviour. When confronted they mitigate, spin and scapegoat.

A classic denial situation.

A profound lack of empathy.

I have outlined a process that is simple to comprehend.

Let's start with an infant. Take for example the practice of training a baby to sleep alone, by letting them cry themselves to sleep.

The infants needs are not met, and the infant has to 'cope' by ignoring his or her feelings: this process leads directly to a loss of self empathy, because one cannot shut down ANY feeling without compromising the entire feeling ability, and of course it follows that this leads to a loss of empathy for others. Because children's sensitivity and constitutions are massively variable, some survive with some empathy intact, some recover, some 'adapt' and others go crazy....

It must be said here that letting a child cry themselves to sleep is but one of a myriad of practices Society induces that have the same adverse affect.

Nonetheless, if this process occurs to the majority, then that lack of empathy becomes part of the societal norm.

Furthermore this induced lack of empathy leads to a lack of felt connection, and for an infant that is a disconnection from that which nurtures in the natural sense..... this leads directly to fear and that fear drives the urge to over-control. ANY control imposed on any natural organism will generate resistance, and this is where violence enters into the picture.

When any person or population endures a trauma, they will also have to cope, (by suppressing feelings, emotions and memories) and if they cannot resolve they will remain in the coping mode.

Any societal structure they build will have those elements of fear and control built into them.

This is the modern Institutional World, as it was the ancient 'civilisations'. Most Institutional Religions utilise processes that disrupt the natural mother-child bonding. They KNOW what they are doing.

They have studied this for many thousands of years....

James Prescott, Alice Miller, Bowlby and others have mapped out apsects of this.

What we HAVE to recognise is that there are influences in Society that apply this as a technique to embed their control. This is difficult for most to face up to. Nonetheless, it's absolutely essential that we do.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Loss of Self-Empathy and the Urge to Power.

The disruption of the naturally mandated child-mother bonding process sets up a chain of events, leading to emergent violence.

The flow is as follows : if the child is not related to in ways that nurture self-empathy, then the development of a loss of empathy occurs.

With that loss, a sense of disconnection is felt and with that comes fear.

The fear leads directly to a perceived need to control others and to control the environment.

As all natural organisms are autonomous, self directing growing beings so too they will resist, to one degree or another, efforts to control them.

That resistance generates violence to impose or retain that control.

In human family or society, if this pattern starts, and is not resolved, then each successive generation will impose that control, and their children too will grow up in an environment that they will 'adapt' to the situation, internalising that psychological need to control.

What baby would not be angry at not being met with the experientials our biology has mandated? Think of the child left to cry himself to sleep in another room, to scream and cry until exhaustion brings sleep. Is this not a common practice in our culture? What of the resignation, the suppression of that rage, the loss of self empathy which ensues from that suppression which is the outcome of such a practice?

That need to control then gets transmitted into the structure of that family or society and over time becomes codified, normalised, embedded.......

Not all children respond or react to the situation in the same way, thus variations arise in the need to control and the levels of violence used to retain control will emerge, with some retaining their basic empathy.

Some will resist the controls. They will be subject to the efforts of others, by violence or by other means, to control them. This resistance leads directly to violence on the part of the controlling parties, because the fear is that if they are not controlled at all costs, then the safety of the controllers is at risk. This is of course unnecessary.

If the issue of empathy is resolved, nurturant co-operation is the natural outcome. We are at our happiest when we meet each others genuine living needs.

http://dwylcorneilius.blogspot.com/2011/06/empathy-and-fear-based-control.html

http://www.birthpsychology.com

http://www.naturalchild.org

http://www.alice-miller.com

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

The Loss of Self Empathy and the Urge To Power.

The disruption of the naturally mandated child-mother bonding process sets up a chain of events, leading to emergent violence.

The flow is as follows : if the child is not related to in ways that nurture self-empathy, then the development of a loss of empathy occurs.

With that loss, a sense of disconnection is felt and with that comes fear.

The fear leads directly to a perceived need to control others and to control the environment.

As all natural organisms are autonomous, self directing growing beings so too they will resist, to one degree or another, efforts to control them.

That resistance generates violence to impose or retain that control.

In human family or society, if this pattern starts, and is not resolved, then each successive generation will impose that control, and their children too will grow up in an environment that they will 'adapt' to the situation, internalising that psychological need to control.

What baby would not be angry at not being met with the experientials our biology has mandated? Think of the child left to cry himself to sleep in another room, to scream and cry until exhaustion brings sleep. Is this not a common practice in our culture? What of the resignation, the suppression of that rage, the loss of self empathy which ensues from that suppression which is the outcome of such a practice?

That need to control then gets transmitted into the structure of that family or society and over time becomes codified, normalised, embedded.......

Not all children respond or react to the situation in the same way, thus variations arise in the need to control and the levels of violence used to retain control will emerge, with some retaining their basic empathy.

Some will resist the controls. They will be subject to the efforts of others, by violence or by other means, to control them. This resistance leads directly to violence on the part of the controlling parties, because the fear is that if they are not controlled at all costs, then the safety of the controllers is at risk. This is of course unnecessary.

If the issue of empathy is resolved, nurturant co-operation is the natural outcome. We are at our happiest when we meet each others genuine living needs.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Easter Eggs are not enough!

The expectations of every child

 

The expectations of every child
To be held in love, all the time
To know safety with every touch
These are the ways we need, it's not so much...

These are the gifts,that life on earth is meant to bring

The expectations of every child,
Acceptance, gentle guidance with a smile,
Honest answers to their questions of life,
Space to grow, fully assured and bright.

The expectations of every child,
To find a safe place to learn in good time
So that the child knows and trusts the heart
Then grows the child in confidence, that is the art..

The expectation of every child,
To know the family, to feel the line
Of ancient stories, and harmonies
The child is born to know that she is free.

The expectation of every child,
To be respected all the time,
To be chosen with the highest love,
So honour the child you hold, that will be enough.....

These are the gifts that life on earth is meant to bring
Do you bring the gifts? Do we bring the gifts?

-

Here's the video

You can download this song for free (all my recordings are open source, creative commons licensed) from my Reverbnation Music Page....

I wrote this song about 21 years ago, and it is the basis of all my work since that time. It was inspired by John Holt, Alice Miller, Carl Rogers and by my daughter and her mother, and by Nurturant Mothering in and of itself. 

It arose out of my own adverse childhood experience and the realisation, late in life, that that experience was entirely avoidable, and is one that I and many others have suffered needlessly. 

It also is true to say that the future of 'Civilised Humanity' lies in the extent to which we, as indivduals and as a society, are willing to act and behave and respond with Empathy towarda our children, towards all children, and with that, a degree of self-empathy, a willingness to honestly  reflect on the realities of our own childhoods is a necessary, though perhaps uncomfortable discipline.

I urge all who read my work to spread this insight. There is much work to be done, and we can have a lot fo fun doing it!

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Empathy is absolutely knowledge based.

I spotted some comments on Facebook,  about a Picture, from the Japan Earthquake and Tsunami, of a billowing fire and smoke cloud and firefighter’s  water spouts that were taken as tusks, red eyes, in the flames etc etc that ‘looks like’ an ‘angry’  Elephant.

There had been a few previous comments all of the same tone as the ones in bold type, so I chimed in…. and was deleted from that persons list….  within 30 seconds of making the last comment, which is fine…

>That one is even frightful! There are so many problems with purity in Japan... It is a cleansing

> Yes Mother Earth is certainly doing all this...Shri Mataji did say that all the natural disasters would stop when people turned to a spiritual life and came into ballance...

look! to us they appear as natural disaster to the Earth they are part and parcel of living processes... to tie them into Spiritual beliefs (invented spiritual beliefs) and judgement is simply rude...

The Cui Bono Logic test for BELIEF ( things that one reads about yet cannot test or prove) - ASK "who benefits if I believe this?" and "Who benefits if I reject this?" and "Who benefits if I keep an open mind on this?" then assess all the possible benefits.

> I feel sorry for them, even if they are blind, they must be so scared... it really is time now for the people of the world to sit up and take notice of the truth, and stop the accelerated head on collision with our own destruction... I was told today that in Japan they are very materialistic and into the acquisition of material things, blinded to spiritual life, I wonder where in the world will be hit next? in the run up to 2012

that's about the ugliest thing I have ever read - that the 'materilaism' of the Japanese people brought this upon themselves.... it's akin to saying that I chose to be beaten, sexually assaulted and psychologically tortured in my childhood to learn a lesson, or that Rapists are in fact Teachers and Women need to learn the lessons.

Your sympathy is devoid of empathy and betrays a Hubris...

----------------------  the other person deleted me within 30 seconds!  ------------

What I find, time and time again, is that believers of all kinds can demonstrate a callousness that is quite possibly one of the 9 wonders of the World.....

We KNOW that earthquakes come in cycles.

To ascribe the Earthquake to a Judgemental God (on whose side one is) and to emote 'sympathy' for those 'poor people' who have drawn it upon themselves due to their 'materialism' is actually very ugly.

This is the same kind of thinking or psychology that can hit a child and tell the child that "This is for your own good" and rationalise or justify all kinds of violence, in a good cause.

I also realise that I 'triggered' the person who deleted me, and pretty much shoved that persons attitude into his or her face, big time...

I could have been more subtle, and tried to slowly get him or her to think about it .... but some days I am just not in the mood.

However it serves my own purpose to illustrate the dangers of belief.

The Rapture.

The dangers of believers.

Lethal Homophobia.

The link between belief and lack of empathy.

"She was aksing for it!"

The link between knowledge and empathy.

"I know how you feel!"

Empathy is absolutely knowledge based.

"I know how you feel!"

And the biology proves it is so :

http://www.parentingscience.com/empathy-and-the-brain.html

And of course the honest person who wishes to be helpful would say "I don;' know how you must feel, but can you talk about it?"

And underneath all of this is Power Relationships - the believer wants to retain Power over the situation, over the other person, rather than face their own powerlessness.

That is, simply put, selfish!

That's what makes this so, so ugly to me.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Womb World…

Womb World…

Life in the womb is one of connection, empathy, gifting, receiving, responding, learning and awareness.

The developing child within is deeply, profoundly connected to the mother. They share blood, food, oxygen. The mother excretes the child's metabolic by-products. Cells from the child and cells of the mother dance
together as a whole.

This is the first environment we all experience, and we experience ourselves as connected, part of the whole and we are aware of ourselves and of the living intelligence, the biology of the mother as parts of
a whole. We are aware too, in the womb, of the environment of the mother.

We hear the sounds. We sense the feelings of our mothers. We meet the chemicals of the environment through out mother.

And environmentalist foetus would of course be urging the mother to do everything that is natural and nurturant, and to avoid anything that is un-natural or non-nurturant.

If the Parent or Community or Society is engaged in non-nurturant behaviours, the child has no voice and no real power to suggest changes towards nurturance.

Is there a correlation in the relationship between people and Governments, Environmentalists and Corporation and the dynamics of low or non-nurturant relationships?

The Biology of Empathy





EMPATHY IS INHERENT TO THE NATUAL HUMAN BEING!

If anything we adults need to learn again the natural empathic ways - from our children - because sadly, in this society, for most, we have no recall of the detail of our early years, which translates into lack of empathy for our smallest chidlren, which damages their empathy (unwittingly) because we are fearful when we do not understand, and so we err on the side of control to cover that fear......

Excessive control or lax permissiveness (neglect) is ALWAYS a question of damaged empathy.....

And it is transferred intergenerationally because of this memory gap - for we leanr parenting by how we were parented, and if that experience is forgotten at the conscious level, it remains for it is written into our neural pathways....

Luckily the brain is plastic, and we can learn again the ways of empathy, by being WITH our children, by talking with them as real complete yet small people - we can grow together...

Behaviour is NOT genetic, it is mostly environmental. Random Mutation was adopted due to Empire Logic and Arrogance, as the model of natural change, whereas we now know and can describe change as an interaction, a response, precise and directed, to changes in the habitat, to the signals the environment sends any living organism - be they bacteria (dealig with anti-bacterial pharamceuticals.....) or larger organisms...

This a child treated with respect grows to respect him or herself, and a child treated with disdain grows to feel shame and inadequacy.... though it's not a linear process, and some children respond in doffering ways such that for some they survive harshness, and for others the subtle undermines them.... hence the need for empathy in parenting, to spot those oh so subtle differences and not so subtle differences and take them into account...

Compulsory State Education, a homogenising process, makes this all but impossible, and this deepens that lack of empathy..... Religion destroys it almost totally, for it replaces the childs sense of wonder with and imposed sense..... this is the nature of mental slavery.

This issue runs to the very heart of the State System and Society.

The future will be defined by whether or not these issues are faced up to and dealt with; punishment that is abusive will not help; incarceration of the perpetrators, the spin doctors, the official deniers is a must; full accountability, reparations and the widespread sharing of the information that can help the victims and active support for the victims is a must.

None of us can afford to turn our hearts from these facts....

http://www.birthpsychology.com/


http://www.whatbabieswant.com/

http://www.parentingscience.com/empathy-and-the-brain.html

http://www.alice-miller.com/

http://www.naturalchild.org/


http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/


http://www.holtgws.com/


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisonous_pedagogy

The Origins of Violence and Hierarchy

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe

Reclaim Love, Egypt and Empathy

Saturday 12th February, London

We gathered, a small group of some 200 or so happy souls, to celebrate Love.

Piccadilly Circus, London, under the statue of Eros. Solar Powered Mobile Sound Systems, Solar Powered Samba Drummers, Solar Power People, colourful, decorated, laughing.

In it’s 10th year, Reclaim Love, is one woman’s vision to bring more Love into the world.

There are Reclaim Love events in many countries, all occurring on the same day, the Saturday closest to St. Valentines Day, February 14th. From one event to many events world-wide, the Reclaim Love Journey has been one of trial and error, success and growth. Thus we discover, we learn, we succeed and we thrive.

They gathered, initially some few hundred thousand, to confront Power.

Tahrir Square in Cairo, under the gaze on the Military Dictator, Mubarak. Christian, Orthodox, Jew, Atheist, Secular, old, young, men and women.

Mubarak in his 30th year of Rule. A rule enforced by violence, supported by Western Governments, that has cost many Egyptians their lives, has kept many Egyptians in Poverty, that has made some few Egyptians incredibly rich, that has taken money from tourists who gaze in awe and wonder at the pyramids, which were built by slaves, on the command of divine rulers, whose mythology today spawns countless insanities, new gods to frighten and fascinate the minds of all too easily manipulated people.

Mubarak, who has betrayed many, amongst them the long suffering people of Palestine, for a few baubles, for narcissism.

Mubarak, who sent in his Police and thugs, who shot 300 people in an attempt to break this demonstration, this confrontation of Power.

People who, under duress and the fog of water cannon, of tear gas, continued to pray, to offer prayer. Christian and Muslim protecting each other. People who refused to break.

There we saw the real Power of Love. The bridge of empathy.

And over the past few weeks we have watched as these Egyptian people of all sectors, of all creeds, of all ages have held the streets.

They have held the streets because they have looked after each other, cared for each other, even as Mubarak and the State shut down the internet, shut down mobile phone communications and land lines, even as many thousands were being arrested off-screeb, some tortured, many beaten.

Love in action.

A people cannot resist unless they are committed to looking after each other. When we look after each other, when we cover each other’s back, we are free from the worry, that draining paranoia which comes from knowing one’s back is not covered.

This is Love.

Self-Governance is the action of love, expressed by looking after each other, by covering each others backs, by protecting each other from potential attack. By tending each others wounds. When everyone is keyed to this, then all can face forward and focus on the task in hand. Together. Such is solidarity.

This is the real meaning of the Tribe – it is not a collective of ideology, or of religion, nor is it a fashion statement. It is a living  expression, the material expression of how we care for one another, how we cover each others backs.

And love cannot thrive unless there is empathy. For it is empathy that builds the bridges between faiths, between people’s whose beliefs are diverse, between generations, yet whose flesh and blood remains the same, hurts the same, loves the same.

We in the UK have a long, long way to go to be able to do our part.

Because our Governments and Corporations and Bankers have supported and continue to support the most cruel and tyrannical rulers, of all kinds, in many countries. This is our history. This is our present. That support has cost many, many people their lives. That support has resulted in many people living in poverty, in fear, in terror.

All for the purpose of protecting ‘strategic interests’.

Profit and power.

And they will continue that support.

We are the only people who can watch the backs of the Egyptian people, by confronting our Governments, Corporations and Bankers, by demanding that they cease their support for venal, cruel, authoritarian rulers, Miltary forces or installed puppet Governments who pay lip service to ‘democracy’ whilst lining their pockets and toeing the Empire’s line.

That would be an act of love. An expression of material support, and sing of genuine empathy.

Whilst the Egyptian people can take and hold the streets, whilst they can hope that the Military will act with honour and integrity, whilst they face the massive ISI and Police Institutional Power and work rid it of the corrupt, the bullies, the torturers, whilst they organise and hold elections and work towards a constitution that demolishes centralised executive Power, rest assured that those who supported Mubarak for so long will not desist from their intent to dominate, to control, and be aware that the only people who can break that support from the outside are the people’s of the USA and UK and Europe.

We have a moral duty, and an empathic obligation to act with Love.

We abandoned the Afghani people in the winter of 2001.

We abandoned the Iraqi people in the spring of 2003.

The Irish, American, Australian and Canadian peoples have all but abandoned the Survivors of Church and State Residential School Systems.

We must not repeat those mistakes. We must not abandon the people of Egypt.

We must adress these problems directly.

And this must be a step in the long journey towards an empathic society, one that justifies the description ‘decent’ and 'humane’.

Kindest regards

Corneilius

Do what you love, it's Your Gift to Universe