Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Shock, Horror and Grim Reality.

In a Jersey children's' home police ‘search’ for evidence of serious abuse against children, perpetrated by adults ‘entrusted’ with the care of those children. An all too regular occurrence. On two levels.

Level One : media reporting, shock horror stories, investigations, some arrests, some fewer charges, court case, incarceration and then back to the continued general media silence on the underlying issues of ‘child abuse‘, a subject which is well studied, well understood (by those in the field such as Alice Miller, Carl Rogers, John Taylor Gatto et al)…and yet Government and those officially entrusted with the overall administration of welfare for our children studiously ignore the information offered, and the often sensible and deeply compassio0nate suggestions made by those I have mentioned.

Level Two : One in four English speaking children experience some form of abuse that causes actual harm, be it physical or psychological. One in four women will experience serious sexual assault in their lives. One in thirteen men will experience serious sexual assault in their lives (though there is reason to believe that this lower figure is due to under-reporting, male reticence and all that). In all cases, their behaviour will have changed as a result. As will the behaviour of those that witnessed the abuse. After all that is the basic reason given for justifying rules, laws and prison. Deterrence.

Unpalatable Truth Numero Uno : Governance over people, senseless Competition, pointless War, and abject Consumerism and even Justice, that blind woman with a scales and a sword to guide her, all depend upon this systemic abuse for their very life-blood. Without that systemically abusive childhood, without the woundings and reshaping of the human personality that results, Western Civilisation would not be what it is today.

And only a fool, a willing ignoramus or a ‘believer’ would imagine that those who pull the strings of Western Civilisation are unaware of this. In fact the historical record is clear. What do you think the imposed conditions of the IMF, WTO upon ‘third world’ countries and the Invasion of Iraq for the ‘good of the Iraqi People’ who love freedom really amount to?

Unpalatable Truth Numero Duo : They do know what they are doing. . From Jesuits through to Marketing men, from Corporate CEOs through to Newspaper Magnates, they do know what they are doing. They freely admit to it, though not often in public. They are proud of their achievements, their ability, as they see it, to fool all of the people, all of the time. Dick Cheney is a good example. They are responsible for what they do.

Oh dear!

Over the weekend I was chatting to a young friend, a girl of good ’background’ about the difficulties experienced in ‘relationships’, and in particular she was concerned with the ‘self-loathing’ that is generally the lot of men, something she was beginning to ’intuit’ in her own and in her friends experience. I too experienced that self-loathing. It is not uncommon. It is a widespread fact of life. Fact of life is that I hated myself. Men do hate themselves.

For my friend, as this information was dawning upon her, as she was coming to terms with it, she was experiencing a deep shock. Part compassion, part depression, part incredulity at the scale of and profound implications of this issue.

I hope I was able to assure her that, in spite of the scale of the problem, once the core issue has been identified, it can be approached in a way that may lead to a healing.

That knowing was better than not knowing, and far, far better than the typical descent into myth and counter myth that typifies accepted or conventional wisdom on the issue of relationships.

As spouted by various writings, from self-help soul-mate seekers manuals to so called ‘agony aunts’ such as Deirdre in the Sun, from the dictats of Cardinals and Evangelical Pastors to the strident manifestoids of ‘feminists’ and ‘Gay-Rights Activists’, from the admonishments of Dr. Spock through to the ’advice’ of all of whom ignore the underlying issue : our culture revolves around child abuse, and depends upon it. Only it is never admitted to nor called by it’s name.

No wonder men hate themselves. No wonder I hated myself for so many years. And it did change my behaviour. I was and I remain a behaviourally modified organism. It is a daily work I undertake, to undo the negative effects of that behavioural modification through abuse that I lived through. I know of others who were there and are in denial. Many others. The majority, even still, will not admit to the truth.

And yes, women also hate themselves….self hatred is not exclusive.

Self-Hatred is the core driver of our civilisation. The Nuclear Bomb, the near constant Destruction of the Environment, The Constancy of War, Viagra, are all the result of hatred. The spread of AIDS through Africa as Western Policy, the advance of the American Empire are all the result of hatred. Glossy Magazines that sell the illusion of perfection, that play upon known modified behavioural and psychological weaknesses in order to sell the product are all the result of hatred. Elitism, the sense that one is better than, above or superior to another is the result of hatred. Gossip columns and ‘reality’ TV are the result of hatred. Loathing is fertile ground indeed!

Wakey, wakey people. Love is the answer. Compassion is the key. Healing is the solution. And it starts at the individual level. As one discovers the truth, and learns and heals ones own life, one becomes a lighthouse alluding to the possibility for the same process in others lives.

And that is the core of the ‘revolution’ that must occur. It is personal. Do not expect those who have ‘normalised’ the abuse to change. They will not, unless they too make it personal. Person by person. Understand that the systems designed by those who abuse, who exercise power ‘over’ others will not change and are designed to resist change from within.

Thus the only way to bring those systems down is to refuse to comply. We must withdraw our support from them. We must not buy their products, their lies, their mythologies, their tainted foods. Without what we give to them, they will collapse. As the t-shirt has it, “Bite the hands that feed you poison”. Better still, feed yourself with what you know to be healthy. And do likewise for your children. For such is love.

The anger of love is a healer, the anger of self-hatred a destroyer.

Kindest regards


Do what you love, it's your gift to universe

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